Over Her Lifetime She Showed Them Why

 

I was in shock and numb after my eldest daughter ran in to tell me last night that Ruth Bader Ginsberg had died.  I was numb the rest of the evening and it was only fitting that I had to drive in the darkness late to pick up my daughter from an event. It feels like a light has gone out.  

My hope was that she could pull through for as long as it took.  This was her fifth bout of cancer in 21 years.  It felt like she was a super hero both in physical survival and also her fighting for the underdog.  And that underdog was those whose rights were being trampled upon by a white male dominated society and we needed another interpretation of the Constitution. 

She always fought in a quiet but brilliant way to interpret things differently and bring the all male bench along with her when she presented her cases.  She said it was like teaching kindergarten and they had never heard anything like this before.  She did it nicely without raising her voice as her mother had instructed. 

I watched her documentary, RBG when it came out in 2018.  As a baby, her only sister died of meningitis leaving her an only child.  Her mother whom she was very close to, valiantly fought cancer for several years and died when Ruth was seventeen and graduating from high school.  She said there was a smell of death in her house.  Her new husband, Marty had cancer when they were both in law school with their young toddler and Ruth did the law school work for BOTH of them!! That is when she learned to burn both ends of the candle.   As one of a handful of female law students,  Justice Ginsberg made both the Harvard Law Review and the Columbia Law Review and graduated tied for first in her class.  Yet, when she graduated, there was no employment to be found as a woman.  At a dinner in law school early on, Ginsberg along with other females were asked by a professor why they should be able to take the slot of a man in law school.  

Over her lifetime she showed them why.  

It seems her inability to find employment after graduation was the beginning of her lifetime journey of championing equality. 

As a human and mother of two daughters, I'm deeply grateful for Justice Ginsberg paving the way for gender equality in daring and innovative ways creating the Women's Right Project with the ACLU.  One of her first major cases was for a man to receive social security benefits for caregiving equally as a woman when his wife died in childbirth.  She looked at the law with new eyes and loved it.   It was the great love of her life along with her husband Marty and her family. 

Her work in the 1970's as aConstitutional lawyer for equal rights winning four out of five Supreme Court cases was proficient for changing the lives of women whether they know it or not.  (I didn't know what she had done until 2018)  This accomplishment stands out as historical even without her work as a Judge.  She was shy, quiet and taught by her mother not to let emotions overwhelm but to do the work and be independent.   

The morning after her death and a disturbed night of sleep, I woke and the sadness set in.  It felt like a body blow, like the 2016 election all over again.  Mitch McConnell will hypocritically work to fill her spot on the bench when he sat on Merrick Garland's nomination for 10 long months in the election year of 2016 because what he said back then was we should hear the will of the people first.  Not anymore. 

With this sadness, I have cried for someone I never met but for her ideals, decency and tenacity.  We lost a lion of courage but a legacy to act, even in quiet ways.   

As a stay at home mom, what does the story of a prolific litigator for equality and a Supreme Court Justice and Master Dissenter move me so?

Quiet, tenacious, do your job well.

Before I had children I decided that I wanted to be emotionally present for my children.  I didn't really understand what that meant but have spent the last twenty years figuring it out, diligently.  It was a calling.   I did not feel heard growing up because I felt I didn't have the right to speak.  I can see this pattern to different levels in my daughters and in other women of all ages.   I processed life alone in my head and now I do it by writing and hope to connect with others.   I was a people pleaser and I stayed silent until it really began to burn me up inside and then I dove in hard to understand.  That anger of staying silent was a sign that my boundaries were not being honored.  I didn't have any boundaries!  Therapy along with changing my image of God has helped tremendously.  God is love and God is in everyone, of every color, race, creed and religion.  Justice Ginsberg who was Jewish fought to care for the marginalized just as Jesus instructs us too.  It's amazing that non-Christians act in a manner following Jesus better than many Christians.  

Justice Ginsberg's tenacity in interpreting the law was overwhelmingly obvious when watching her story. I feel the that same way about healing pain that is passed generationally.  If you don't transform your pain it will be passed on.  Even before I knew that what meant, I was unconsciously working hard not to do that.  I have stayed with this learning of how to listen to my children, and be a heart with ears.   I am learning to listen to my own self this way.  

Diligence.    

I'm not a "march for your rights" kind of girl.  I'm introverted and learning to write my way out and take care of those whom I love with tenacity, listening and continued learning. 

Ruth Bader Ginsberg was a transformational powerhouse in her own quiet but mighty way.  I take inspiration, and much gratitude for her as a role model and icon.  

Be who you are, use your talent and do it to the best of your ability. 

Stand up for those who need it. 

RIP Ruth Bader Ginsberg - You fought the good fight.  Imagining your joyous reunion with your mom whom you lost so early and your Marty with a smile on my face. 

Namaste.