Summer is upon us. Yesterday, both of my children were out of the house. I have been reveling in time alone and flitting from one thing to the next. I could not concentrate on just one thing but I moved between twenty tasks. My emotions were up and down. The day started off with some blue feelings, I wrote, tears fell and I became energized.
It was time to address the closet, it has been calling. I want to streamline, get rid of clothes and anything else that is no longer in use. This is easier said than done. There are some fantastic memories associated with some clothes and other items. I have read or heard that if you haven't worn an item in a year (perhaps 2 after the pandemic) then it's time to let it go.
Long ago, I had watched only one episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. For some reason, it did not resonate with me. I don't know if it was the language barrier but I was not drawn to it. As I ate lunch yesterday, I decided to give it another try for inspiration.
It was the right intuition.
I watched the homeowner, a recent widow and Marie meet and discuss plans. They sat down at a table and discussed her goals for her house and for her.
Then there was something very powerful which made me fall in love with Marie. Marie told the homeowner she wanted to greet her house. She got up walked around and found just the right spot and knelt on her legs sat on the floor and prayed.
Oh yes! Cleaning out clutter is a spiritual process.
(But there was more to come!)
I wanted to get on the floor and speak to Divinity about my intentions and goals. Make plans for how I want to live my life in this house. I want to think about the energy in the house. It will soon be changing as my eldest is leaving for college which leads me to think of the empty nest in three more years. Whoa. How did that happen?
Intention. For much of my thirties and forties, I took it to heart that I was a follower and people pleaser. I did not know who I was and how to follow through on my own intentions. I am learning to listen to my intuition, my gut and recognize the divinity that is guiding me. Being in a quiet space like yesterday, really allows me to listen.
I continued to watch "Tidying Up" and Marie blew me away again! Her advice was to hold an item and see if it sparked joy.
Oh my. Yes!!!
Today, I could take in her message.
Many items I keep, like shoes, I do so because they were expensive. Would I ever wear them again? Never, I think maybe the kids. SMH. Nuh uh. Some of them hurt my feet and I decided not to do that anymore. So does that item spark joy? Nooooo. Instead it carries shame that I didn't wear them enough or that I had spent too much money. And then there's the clothes that might fit in the future? Nooooooo.
Why do I do that to myself?
It's clear to me now, that this rule applies to all surroundings including people. Do they spark joy, make me feel better or worse about myself? Do I let go of trying to make things work with people it just doesn't? (emphasis on work) It is hard to let people go though. I can get on my knees, thank them for the role they have played thus far and let them go, or let my idea of them go. I may have to do this several times over, because some people are harder to let go than others.
This was such a simple but profound lesson. As I began to write again, I wanted to hear the exact words Marie used about sparking joy. An interview of her & Stephen Colbert popped up. He asked why Americans responded to her message of tidying up and sparking joy so much and it was because...we have clutter in our hearts.
Those words permeated my body and straight to my heart. I felt them and know them to be true.
My bag of shoes is waiting to be donated.
Now the rolling of the clothes, I need more time.