It's taken me a long time to really really understand, "Be in the Present Moment." Around ten years ago, I tried to make my way through Eckhart Tolle's, "A New Earth" with a reading group at church. I could barely read the book or listen to him in audio because it was dry and heady material but it laid a foundation. Eckhart talked a lot about the ego, the pain body, about Jesus and inherently "be still and knowing that I am..."
All of that came with a level of difficulty that was beyond my pay grade at the time.
When I am quiet and still with no distractions, stuff comes up. And I am bombarded with distractions to avoid the painful emotions that make me jittery, anxious and avoidant to ever sit and be still again. Over time, I have practiced over and over that what comes up will not kill me especially if I don't identify AS the sadness, anxiety or grief. It is energy that needs to flow through. These are "just" my thoughts and not who I am.
Now hearing Eckhart years later in video, I can take in his slow, dry manner, and abundant wisdom and if he chuckles, it is like I won an Olympic medal. So very delightful.
Just now, I was standing at the kitchen sink with dirty dishes piled all around from last night. I have always HATED washing dishes. George can swiftly verify this fact. My head is spinning because I'm trying to think of all the groceries needed in preparation for Thanksgiving week and the girls home from school. I can look and see things that need to be done everywhere. There's a pandemic raging. Political strife is ever abundant. My lower back aches as I have grown accustomed to in the last few years. My blood pressure is elevated a little. And I have a slight headache that I'm not sure what it's from. And yesterday, I discovered that neuroma is likely the name for the tingling I feel in my right foot between the third and fourth toes.
Yet, amidst all of this, I have Frank Sinatra playing on Pandora, and I have a dish in my hand cleaning it with my yellow smiley face scrub and I have a few seconds of peace beyond all understanding.
It's magical.
It's mystery.
Being In The Present Moment.
Ego aside, pain aside, sadness aside, anxiety aside, all of it aside. It makes room for a well of gratitude for life, for a loving divinity inside me and inside every human being and I'm connected with all of it.
Give me more of this.
I know it's about loving myself and others and breaking through all of the barriers to get there.
Namaste.
