These are all of the medical papers from the journey it took for George and I to get pregnant.
Here they all are: Invoices, Claims, Denied Claims and Explanation of Benefits, from the gynecologist, the reproductive endocrinologist's office, the lab, two hospitals and our insurance provider. And then the prescription papers…
I had them all in a green file folder box neatly ordered with tabs. It was the most organized I've ever been in my life. And I've never been that organized again. I wanted to be a mother so badly.
This was a very ugly, hard time for me.
I've decided it's time to let the papers go.
Twelve years in the making.
The girls and I had a ceremonial burn, while swimming in the pool. (Mothers are always multi-tasking.) Riley really enjoyed adding each paper in. There was a symbolism there. The child that was so hard to conceive was helping me let go of my infertile past.
Mallory helped us flame the fire too but her thoughts turned to smores. We had enough graham crackers for one smore and Brinkley was even able to get in on it.
The papers burned, the ashes piled up. George asked how it felt. I really didn't feel that much except the heat of the fire. I had been holding on to this papers for so long but they really didn't mean anything to me anymore.
How much more am I carrying around that is weighing me down that needs to be burned off?
How much more "stuff" is lying around that needs to be let go of? I'm so excited to address this issue. I am delighted to begin working through small areas of my house, one by one. Who knew I would ever get so excited about cleaning.
The fertility papers are gone and it's time to move on
to whatever else is dragging me down.
Will it somehow lead to more chocolate for Mallory?
Will Brinkley end up getting a bite?
Stay tuned.
Namaste.
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