Tuesday, August 9, 2011

School starts tomorrow

We are back from our last summer fling last week, a few nights at Orange Beach, AL and one night at Beau Rivage in Biloxi, MS. School starts tomorrow. It was difficult at first for me to let go and "relax" at the beach. GaGa is ever present in our minds. We received one desperate phone call on day 2 and then George decided to call her each day. I let him take over during the trip. I just wanted to escape that reality for a little bit and being away from home did help that. It was wonderful to get away.

My birthday occurred while we were gone and it was a good day. Really!! This is a remarkable occurrence for me and my birthday baggage. I took control of certain aspects and it doesn't hurt to spend it away from home! George stepped up to the plate and "took over" and let me have some down time. I appreciated it immensely. There were presents from George and the girls. I planned a massage and got a manicure. I spent the afternoon with my family relaxing at all of the Caribe pools. Had delicious take out from Louisiana Lagniappe for dinner and I sat and ate with wet hair, no makeup and a tshirt and shorts on. For a birthday it was pretty darn good! Maybe the birthday baggage tide is achanging.

In the car on the way home, I had a moment where I was SAD that school was starting. The flow of being a stay at home mom is ever changing. Now, I haven't had alone time in ages, my house is a WRECK, (my cleaning lady hasn't been in weeks), there has been no regular physical activity or yoga but I am wistful today that the girls are heading back to school. Each year passes faster and the bottom line is, I love being their mother. This summer flew by, as I kept them busy and they are getting older and easier to manage (or is it me?) There were a few moments I was ready to ship them somewhere with the fighting and whining but in comparison to other summers, this one was managed well.

I will have more opportunity to visit my mother in law and I need to. It has gotten really difficult to have the kids around her. They are scared of her and she has a low tolerance and that is just plain depressing because I know how much she loved being with them before. She is on the slow decline and it is devastating to my soul to watch this happen. There is just no going around how difficult this is. It doesn't end until her end and actively waiting for a loved one to die is not natural. She is a shadow of her former self, there are no more smiles, and her quality of life has deteoriated immensely. No warm fuzzies here. Death is a natural part of life, but it is unnatural to go through it or maybe it's the grieving part of it. But time marches on and life continues. Riley will put her uniform on tomorrow and school will officially start and I have 2 birthday parties to plan that are right around the corner. Life goes on.

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