Sunday, November 18, 2012

GaGa's Butterflies

Caterpillar eating the milkweed bush we planted in honor of GaGa on what would have been her 80th birthday.

Look closely-amazing gold enhanced chrysalis!! 
Empty Chrysalis
I watched this particular monarch butterfly flit around the yard repeatedly.  I stood still and it danced around me!  I was waiting for it to light on me!

It has been 8 months since GaGa died.  I did not realize this until the Day Of Remembrance for the Saints of our church.  They read the names of the deceased and carried a banner with names and bells on it.  I cried and knew that it was okay to cry.  I cried a second time and thought okay, that was it, no more crying.  Then we sang the last hymn and what did it talk about...cocoons and butterflies, come on.

The third cry was the charm.

Monday, November 5, 2012

What would your obituary say?

I read the recent obituary of a woman who also happened to be a counselor.  There was a line that said she was a lover of God, nature, books and people.

All I could was think how would people describe me?

Whoa.  Food for thought.

Do I live in a manner that says I love God?  Or nature or books or people because all of those happen to be on my list as well.  Do I reflect how much I love my husband and daughters?   My other loves are the arts: music, movies, and theatre.  I love connecting with people.  I love the fact that I can now embrace crying, laughing and vulnerability whole-heartedly!!  I love writing this blog.  I love every hard earned aha that comes my way.

I have come to understand over the last four years how I have lived in a manner for 40 years that reflected how very fearful of life that I was.  My forties started a trek of learning what LOVE is.  It takes time to build those new proteins up in the brain though.   I do hope to progressively demonstrate God's love to those around me.   I know I spent a long time having loving thoughts in my head that never came out because I didn't know how.
I'm glad I read this particular obituary.  It was a wake up call.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Law of Attraction...

I am beginning to understand this.  When I give just a little opening for possibilities instead of negativity, I see what blossoms!