Clearer House, Clearer Vision

I want to clear my house of clutter.  I want to have a place for everything in my house.  But there are so many areas that need attention that it is overwhelming.  My stuff, my husband's, my two daughters, two dogs, two cats and now two dwarf hamsters.  Uuuuggghhhh.

This has been on my mind since school began.  This is my goal this school year.

Yet day to day life interferes with what I want to do.

But today, right now, I will stop and clean for a few minutes.  One step at a time. One area at a time.

Today, I will start with my bedroom.

It is my sanctuary.

Clearer house, clearer vision.

Addition Complete!

It is December 20th. Holy crap. There are still many last minute things to be done before we celebrate Jesus' birth. But one thing that is complete is the Keeping Room!!!! Woo Hoo! After months of work by the contractor's team and my part, the work is done. We moved furniture in Friday night and kept moving on Saturday. We lived in the room this weekend. A completely different story from last weekend, when we had to vacate the house as they were laying tile and grout. What a difference a week makes. The kitchen area is now feels so huge. We moved basically all of the furniture from the living room and it is now an empty shell but we will eventually get some furniture for it. That means we have to go shopping...and pick colors and a design.

And I did it!! I coordinated the whole project from start to finish. George still hasn't met the father of the father/son contracting team. This went so much more smoothly than the window replacement project from hell. I learned a lot in between those experiences. I thoroughly interviewed three contractors, bids and all and then went with my gut. I actually had two groups that I would have felt good with and that was amazing to me. And the process went reasonably well.

Now to work on all of the other major home projects-refinish wood flooring, see if A/C can handle new square footage during the summer, update bathroom counters. Not to mention the continual decluttering process. There is always a project...

Like the Saints...I hope

After an incredible 43 year drought the Saints have won the Superbowl. It is an amazing feat and sounds foreign for anyone around here to say the Saints are Superbowl Champions. The paper bag wearing fans and the 'Aints have made it to the top. I won't pretend that I have followed the team because I didn't know who Drew Brees was until a few weeks ago but I like the human interest stories and this one is fantastic. In the pregame show, Drew Bree's story and the message that it was one in the same as New Orlean's story was quite compelling. The comparison to the city devastated by Katrina and Brees devastated with a shoulder injury was made. Their recovery was made together. It shows he and his wife choosing to live IN the city, not in the suburbs, giving back through helping to rebuild schools, etc. After the game, when they showed Drew with his young son and tears in his eyes, I just got a feeling, that this is a "stand up" guy. And everyone associated with this team from Benson, his daughter, to Sean Payton on down, had hope...and a plan. The onside kick was practiced during their two week prep and when Payton gutsily called it's use, the team was ready. Hope, practice and work.

This morning I heard a terrific radio show on Oprah's Soul Series. It was Pastor Ed Bacon and Elizabeth Lesser and she had a quote about hope and it went something like this: don't hope for more than you are willing to work for. The message was that hoping wasn't about "pie in the sky" feelings, it was about work and for me talking about hope in this manner is new. Yet it really spoke to me. I am currently working really hard to change the way I naturally think, and am changing the "tracks" of my worldview and it is hard but I keep practicing. Rev. Ed said that as long as hope was 51% and despair 49%, then hope wins out. The Saints found the perfect combination of leaders and players, they worked hard and their hope and work payed off. It was wonderful to watch and learn from.

2010 New Year's Resolutions

I have not been into setting new year's resolutions the last couple of years. In general no one ever follows through with them but I have learned that setting a goal is good for me to actually get something done. Maybe I was the only one that didn't follow through? (Not!) With 2010 coming tomorrow, I have three areas of focus, and they are not new but I have a newfound desire and new skills.

It has hit me once again as I'm typing, that balance is a huge component of life. I have found that the more organized I get, life flows better, and yet the more flexible I am within that organization, the easier life is, less stress.

One area of organization that I need to focus on is incoming paper. Between the mail, bills, receipts, school papers, children's art, husband's papers, etc., it piles up on kitchen counters, and everywhere in our office/spare bedroom. My goal is to have no receipts lying around and for the ones that I need to keep to be in the pretty purple file folder. I have almost finished going through all of the old ones and have to stay focused for all of the incoming ones. My future is to have all papers dealt with in a timely manner, but I'm going to start small with receipts.

Another area that I want to focus on is new meals to prepare. I want to find new dishes that my children have not tried and that are easy and tasty. Both of them like to help me bake but perhaps we can push the envelope and find new foods other than plain meat, starch, & vegetables that they will actually eat. This does mean more work for me and with extracurricular activities in the afternoon, I cut corners. Yet I do want to try some new things, even if it is just two new recipes a month. That's my goal!

Lastly, I'm still on a decluttering movement and I hope forever will be. You can't stop with this one or "the stuff" takes over again. I have a friend who did not buy stuff for a year. I want to hear more about that. I know I could not embark on that, I can't let go of buying stuff just yet, but I realize when you bring more stuff in that defeats the purpose. One area of declutter for me is books and magazines. We have three sets of bookcases and room for no more. George ordered a Nook (Barnes & Nobles' E-reader) for Christmas for me. At first, I resisted this idea because I wanted to hold a book in my hand. And then I thought of how much easier it would be without the bulk. Over the last few years I have thought, why do I keep a book? for how long? For reference? My downfall (?!) is that I just LOVE books. I like having them around. But I need to be choosy with the ones that I keep around. My goal is to go through them again with a more critical eye, and have every book fit in a book in the bookcase and none lying on the top!

The last area is in the area of physical fitness. I make a pledge to ignore all of the excessive diet information that will be presented the first few weeks of January...because I have learned all too well that diets don't work! But I want to add an activity and that is stretching. As I can't go to a yoga class every day, I have started incorporating yoga stretches after I get off the treadmill at home. This activity I want to add in more frequently per week. Maybe even stretch if I don't get on the treadmill.

So off we go, a new year, which is a chance to wipe the slate clean. Perhaps that is what is nice about new year's resolutions. It is appealing. But as I have learned, changes can be made at any time during the year. And if you have nothing new in your toolbox of life to attack 2010 with, your behavior will be the same as 2009. I learned a lot about myself in 2009, time to put it in play. Happy New Year! Hope the tools in your toolbox are sharp and ready to go. : )

Staging

You know, decluttering has become my favorite pastime. And it seems with a young family there is a perpetual need. At least, I have job security. Recently a long awaited for desire came true. I have always wanted a professional organizer to come to my house and help me transform it (he he he). I did have a person come to help me with my house, but she is a "stager." We are putting our house on the market and our realtor recommended Cindy to help us make the house look more buyer friendly. Our goal is curb appeal, minimalism, as well as colors to make the house look more spacious, depersonalization, and things like that. Who knew staging would make me want to stay in my house...(well they did tell me that it happens sometimes.)

I do still want to put my house on the market (although this is a LOT of work) but my house is looking so good that I have entertained once again how we could add on some more space. It just can't happen the way we need though. George wants bigger spaces in spots that are tight, like in our master bathroom and in the kitchen area where the refrigerator is in the wrong spot as well an extra room to put my treadmill (yes, I use it) and Mallory seems to want to sleep in her own room again. So we shall proceed, but I am so enjoying what has taken place so far. I have woken up giddy in the morning, thinking my house is getting in order.

The first day, she went through my kitchen and put everything that was "undesirable" on the granite island. (that is for any potential buyers - all counters are slab granite) It took me a week to clean off the island and find where to put necessary things in a hidden spot. The house feels so much cleaner, lighter. I wake up in a good mood because there is a freeness in the house. We have proceeded to: move and remove furniture, take down a ton of pictures, change curtains, shower curtains and rugs, add curtains, and go through playroom closet. And then my job is to then take care of all of that extra stuff that has been removed. I have gone through so many "spaces" in our house, the big spaces (entire rooms and closets) to the little spots, like under the bathroom counter cabinets, kitchen cabinets, mudroom closets, and drawers. It is very time consuming, but each thing gets me closer to my goals. The first being getting the house ready to show and two, having less stuff to move when the time comes.

I have realized I need goals. I can work hard but it is helpful for me to have a goal in sight. Knowing I am working toward the master plan of selling the house, and thinking a house that we might want is slipping away, I work harder. I learned this about myself with the mini-triathlon and it's good to be reminded about setting goals or having a specific motivating factor. I need it to get me going some times.

Triathlon, anyone?

(I wrote this as an entry for a magazine contest last year)

Most Important Day of My Life

What is the most important day of my life? How do you narrow down? When I first read the contest title, I had many thoughts going through my mind but one that I immediately fixated on was the mini-triathlon that I had just completed. The next thoughts were of the births of my two young daughters, the first after a two year arduous journey to become pregnant, and then I thought of my wedding day, my Masters degree, and other assorted experiences. I felt guilty that I would choose the triathlon over my beloved husband or daughters. Oh, the guilt that comes with motherhood! In continuing to ponder the question, I determined that one of the reasons that I wanted to participate in the triathlon was to set an example for my young daughters as well as push through some personal issues of my own. I am striving to improve myself and therefore become a better mother, and wife and that is why I have chosen the mini-triathlon as the most important day of my life, thus far.

I would not consider myself an athlete and in that statement, I am not giving myself credit which is something I do quite often. I did play softball in elementary and high school. I had one season of both volleyball and basketball and participated in cheerleading in high school. I had a humiliating experience with softball in high school which involved the coach calling me names like “Happy Moron” and also joking that I was as useful as a milk pail under a bull. These were mortifying moments at practices especially as I first had to stop and think what did he just say? I knew it was an insult but I had to absorb the meaning! In hindsight, I needed help with male role models in my life. Although my father did the best job he knew how and was physically present, he didn’t engage with me on a personal level. And then I had this coach who was also my principal, cracking jokes at my expense. Those comments have followed me and influenced me in subtle ways since then until now. Even though I really liked the sport of softball, I chose not to play my senior year to avoid any more of the same treatment.

I had read about the mini-triathlon in the paper the year before and I thought, I should do that. That thought and a year came and went. That was way too much for me to undertake, and all of the negative thoughts flooded my mind, which I realize are a constant occurrence and one that I am changing. I have two young daughters ages five and two. The older was in Pre-Kindergarten for half a day and the other goes to Mothers Day Out three mornings a week and they are my charges the rest of the time. My husband is a surgeon and has a very demanding and time consuming schedule. He is very hands on when he is home but there is no absolute timetable of when he will be home. One day, I was talking to the room mother of my older daughter’s class and realized she was training for the Rocketchix mini-triathlon and it was coming up in less than two months. I started thinking again, is this a possibility? Could I do this, did I have enough time to train, and did I have it in me? Could I wear a bathing suit in front of a large group of people and actually swim? My swim stroke lessons are from high school PE instruction and are not pretty and involve lots of backstroke. I had swum some laps when I was pregnant with my first daughter but that was five years ago. I did have a bike and enjoyed leisurely jaunts on occasion and I had been jogging for a few minutes at a time since Christmas. I began to think of all of the times I had pushed myself physically. One of those times was when I was dating my husband and we backpacked in the Smoky Mountains for a few days. At the beginning of the hike, after strapping on the full and heavy back pack all I could think was, “What have I gotten myself into?” It was hard and I had to push through all of the negative thoughts in my head but I still remember how magnificent and beautiful it was when we reached our first crest. I also remember the emotional and physical high of pushing through my body’s comfort level and pressing on. Would I want to do that same type of thing but this time with an audience?


One of the other motivating factors to undergo the training for the triathlon was that I turned forty this year. It’s a milestone number and accomplishing this feat before the big 4-0 seemed appealing and appropriate. I know I suffer from the cliché “low self esteem” and have those previously mentioned negative thoughts. I do know I have accomplished many things in my life, but I know that I also worry about what other people think and after some counseling therapy, understand why and am working through those issues. The older I get the less I worry about this and I love, love, love that about getting older. The triathlon was perfect for turning 40 and to help get over worrying about what other people think, i.e. swimsuit.


One morning with both girls in school, and I am still determining if I should do this, I rode around the neighborhood on my bicycle, then jogged a little bit and decided, I could do it, I should do it and I NEEDED to do it. I slapped on an official triathlon style bathing suit in the middle of February with back fat hanging out and started swimming in an indoor pool. The room mom and I started training together when our schedules permitted. Goals are good and I was on a mission. I realized the importance of setting a goal and working towards it. Fear of failure is also an excellent motivator. I continued this path of swimming, biking and jogging based on the training program. Pushing myself out of my usual thirty minutes of treadmill, and a few strength training exercises was fantastic. It felt so good physically and mentally to push hard through laps in the pool, cycling, or jogging and then feeling exhausted but satisfied when it was all over.

I was pretty certain I would finish the triathlon but the anxiety just prior to it was high. The event was hard and at the time seemed not so much fun and right after I thought, I don’t ever need to do this again. The pool portion seemed chaotic as compared to the one time I had attended a swim clinic. The bike ride was in a headwind the entire second half. Upon transitioning from the bike to the run, the party and music had started at the finish line due to staggered start times and I really wanted to go join it instead of hoofing it for the run portion. Yet I am proud that I finished and in a not so shabby time frame and I had not been in the practice of running, swimming or biking until I started training. As the day progressed, I thought well, maybe I could do it again next year and beat my time.
Other people were surprised when they heard of my feat and it was nice to hear that I had inspired a friend to do a triathlon and then another mom in the neighborhood bought a bike and started riding it. Yet the principle that I’ve learned and beginning to live is that what is most important is what I think of myself. I did this for myself and secondly for my daughters. I now know that I am capable of setting goals, working hard, and if that is not an athlete, I’m not sure what is. I am an athlete and I am a Rocketchick! Next year I plan to better my time or I might move on to another goal. In my life, I hope to continue to set goals and work towards them even when there will be surprises and setbacks along the way as there have been in the past. I’ve learned a lot during these forty years and training and completing the triathlon was a major step for me to take and move through some of my fears and is why it is the most important day, thus far.