Bah Humbug

Can I be the first to say, Bah Humbug. I am just not in the mood for Christmas, AT ALL. In fear of being judged by the Christian Right (he he he), if Christmas were just about Jesus it might be different but it's not and the moms out there know what I'm talking about. Businesses have had decorations up since Halloween, People are putting them up and putting pictures of their Christmas trees up on FB and it makes me want to throw up. Mad because I liked to get mine up and sad, because I just am really not into it right now. But I have young kids so it will happen and it will drag me into the spirit. I have felt so stressed out the last couple of days. The tension has been really high. I am trying to give myself a break because a member of the family is dying and maybe that is why I'm really stressed and wanting to avoid Christmas. I can do such a wonderful job of beating myself up as well. But I have not been through THIS level of stress before. It is physically, mentally and emotionally draining. There is just nothing left. I am short with my kids and my husband. I hold it together for my mother in law. My husband of course, is completely stressed as well.

For Christmas, the good thing is that I HAVE to simplify. There is no way around it. This has been a goal of mine for the last couple of Christmases and this year it IS a reality. I think I said the same exact sentiment last year, and this year, well it is happening. My neighbor has already suggested not exchanging adult gifts and just giving kid gifts and I wanted to kiss her. Mmmmwwaahhh. Now, who else can I suggest this to? I want to have my kids covered and the rest is just going by the wayside.

I'm still in the middle of a house remodel and that is actually fun when you compare it to life and death, even with having to replace the chosen tile at the last moment or having the wrong set of French doors come in. When living in the middle of an addition to your house is the positive in your life right now you know it's not good. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge some moments. And I think what I need to do is give myself a break. Let myself cry. Reach out to someone or some group who knows what this is all about. Ask for help. Try to have small moments of time to myself. Lastly, I have been turning up Garth loudly and getting my twang on -as he was on Oprah recently. I pulled out the Greatest Hits CD which hadn't seen the light of day in years. I saw him in concert in Buffalo and he was great. I have so been enjoying - "Calling Baton Rouge", "The Dance", "Rodeo" "Friends in Low Places" and on and on. This is one of my favorites though...