Friday, June 29, 2012

Lots of Therapy and Inner Work Gets You This...

This came around as I have been trying to put words to how I have felt my life change.  This is inner work that you can't physically see but it's been hard to name.  And it is very nuanced.  Yet this is EXACTLY where I would begin to describe what I have felt myself moving towards. Numbers 10 and 11 having to do with judging are instrumental in letting things go with myself and those around me.  Changing these thought patterns is slow but oh so freeing.  I didn't know I had thoughts that were making life so difficult.  Thoughts still pop up but now, I examine and let them go so much more quickly.

Letting go of fears is the next whopper.  I have come to understand that what gives me the most anxiety is what I "think" about the worst thing that could happen to me.  And what if it did?  My thoughts about it could either send me spiraling or I could grieve and make the best of it.  My thoughts and thought patterns are so influential to my quality of life.
I can see how my thoughts have changed in doing remodeling work to the house.  I have elicited the help of a interior decorator and had to trust what he tells me and listen to my own intuition.  This is new territory for me, to speak up and say what I think and even to have the esteem to have someone help me in the first place.  I didn't feel worthy before.  Also as I learn to do something new, I make mistakes.  My kitchen floor was not the ideal, and then a great friend of mine said, "Oh, I have made plenty of mistakes in choosing things for my house!"  That one statement helped me understand that it's okay to make a mistake.  Letting go of perfection is so unbelievable freeing.  I just had the exterior painted and I tried something new and I began to get worked up and in a slight frenzy.  I stopped and thought, it is not the end of the world, it's a paint color.  I spoke up, tweaked the colors where I could, and voila, it's not perfect but it is more than acceptable.  There is a lot of downside to perfectionism.  Acceptance of life which is what number 1 is talking about.

I love this list and am so happy I came across it.  Think it and it will happen.

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