Monday, April 29, 2013

The I Love Grandma Cup

Well, some things just rip you up.

We are very slowing going through GaGa's remaining possessions.  The boxes are lined up against the entire back wall of the garage.

There are many items I have no trouble letting go of, especially because they are going to Connections for Life, my favorite charity.  And then, I pull another item out the box, unwrap the tissue and bam, my heartstrings are yanked and I immediately need to cry.

This is Riley from our Christmas card picture for 2003.  GaGa told me how much it made her smile to see this face when she drank her coffee every morning.

You just can't replace that unique enthusiasm that a grandmother has for their grandchild.  It's love, and you know that someone loves your child almost as much as you do.

Do I keep it or do I let it go?  I can't donate it.  It makes me sad to see it, so I want to let it go.  I may have to hold on to it for a few days just like the plastic Disney princesses. I eventually let them go, it just took me a few weeks.

It is so true that grief comes in waves, and when you least expect it over things that you had no idea would bring up emotion.  How we connect to the people in our lives is a mystery and how it bubbles up after they pass away is as well.

I miss Grandma.

I need to tell Riley how much Grandma enjoyed looking at her picture from this mug and there is one for Mallory too.  I told GaGa I would keep her memory alive as she lay sick in the bed.  In the moment I pulled the cup out, it was too painful for me to bring it up then, but that sad feeling passes and another opportunity will arise.  I do want them to know how much she loved them and still does from the great mystery.

This is just a cup.  It is not Grandma.  I use to have a hard time of letting items go, but now I know, a cup isn't going to keep Grandma around.  My telling Riley and Mallory how much she loved them will.

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