Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I Always Think That I'm The One Teaching My Kids But...

For the longest time, she hesitated to sign up for the pep squad.  I, "the old cheerleader," had been hoping for a few years that she would be interested in cheerleading as well.  I felt a very strong tug when I saw a group of girls practicing together or when we attended a high school game.  It was a deep yearning that I couldn't let go.

What is this deep yearning really about...

Just because I enjoyed being a cheerleader doesn't mean she would.  She is not me and she has her own interests.  But she would bring up pep squad from time to time when the other girls talked about it.  The two of us would discuss the pros and cons and where she stood.

And during those talks I learned to let my desire for her go.  Instead of me teaching her something, I listened to her talk about what she wanted and I learned something! 

It's very important to follow your own dreams.

The extended "join the pep squad" deadline was upon us, and she brought it up again, which surprised me because I had let it go and thought she had ruled it out.  Although cheerleading is a sport - I would love for her to be on the field playing the sport, but it's her choice.  So I requested the final schedule to see what the exact time commitment would be as it was a major concern for my academic daughter.  (Woo Hoo on that concern!)

At the very final opportunity to join, I sensed a desire on her part but she was still hesitant. This isn't about me.  Hmmm.  What do I do?  Since she only had one other activity going on during the week, I encouraged her to try.  She seemed to need the push to get out of her comfort zone.  

So we ended up at our first game last night. It was very exciting to see the smile on her face having fun.  This may be her only time with a cheerleader uniform on (well, when hers comes in because we signed up so late!) and I'm okay with that.  I may grieve it a little when the time comes but I want her to be who she authentically is and to follow her own interests because that is where her heart is.  And I need to pursue those things where my heart lies and get out of my comfort zone.

The game was a classic "agony of defeat" kind of night.  The other team scored on their first possession and kept going.   Our fifth and sixth grade boys worked really hard but the end score of 20-6 was not in our favor.   But let me tell you that "6" was SO exciting!!  It brought out the old cheerleader in me.  I stood and screamed (and stopped chatting) when I realized that we were close to the goal line!  It was a little deja vu and fun!

You don't have to have a uniform on to be a cheerleader.


  1. Nicely written, Carolyn. And I agree... letting go of expectations and appreciating people (and situations) for who (and what) they are... that's when life's most unexpected lessons are learned.

    Your daughters are very lucky to have you as their mother... and vice versa.


    1. Aren't those unexpected lessons the bomb! I stay in amazement when I let go! I still get in my way too...but we are not perfect creatures
      Thank you for that compliment.