Monday, December 9, 2013

I'm Out Of The Closet

I came out of the closet a few days ago.  I was sitting at lunch with some "moms" from our non-denominational Christian school.  I heard words spoken that pierced me and it was about a lesbian choosing to be gay.  I may have misunderstood but I don't think so, because I was not corrected when I spoke up.  I had to interject and say, "Being gay is not a choice."

That's all I said.

But that was HUGE!

Outing myself as a supporter of Team LGBT was a massive moment for me as I have stayed quiet for a long time.  I never felt like it was okay for me to have an opinion.   In order to speak up and say I support gays and lesbians, I had to work through my interpretation from a "Christian" standpoint.  I have been doing that for years now.  What I have been thinking to myself all these years is that if I said something that someone disagreed with, would they stop liking me?  And would I not be in favor with them anymore?

But this is what I have learned, anyone can have their opinion but I can have my opinion as well AND we can still be friends.  It's called "let's agree to disagree."

But maybe they won't be able to agree to disagree and then that is when you bring on the Boundaries and it can be painful that you can't agree to disagree but I'm learning to live in own skin and my own truth and I can't go back now.

And that is also HUGE!

In the car on our way to Thanksgiving, Mallory played "Brave" by Sara Barielles.  Love that song. Here's a little bit...
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Words do settle down in your skin and for many, many years the shadow has won but I'm slowly coming out of that.  Feelings which are blocked energy are coming out left and right for me. I remember when I started crying in yoga and thought what the heck is going on?  Now I revel in the ability to cry as well as to be just curious about the other feelings that come to the surface!

I have no idea how difficult and how painful it is to be a gay person in our society.  I can only imagine what it would be like when just being who God made you offends a portion of society. Then those who fear gays judge, degrade, physically harm and take away civil rights and all while using the bible as a shield to do so.  The bible doesn't say to do that in my interpretation.

I do understand living in fear and not being able to be who I authentically am.  I have read many biographies, watched a lot of Oprah and when a gay person told their story, I identified very deeply with the part of not being able to be true to them self and those around them.

So here it is in my own quiet way, I'm out.  I'm speaking up and I support gay rights!


  1. Good for you... not an easy thing to do when you fear others may be against you. The fear of others not liking me is sure one I can relate to, and it keeps me hiding who I am and what I think. I love that you stood up for what you think is right. Now you'll have your own self-respect, and others will respect your firmness. It's all these little steps we need to take, that add up to big changes. BTW, I love that Sara Bareilles song too!

    1. Theresa - Thanks so much for reading and replying! Fell in love with that song the first time I heard it. I'm moving forward baby step by baby step!