Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Golden Ticket

Note to self: Remember that there is a place inside of you that you can go to at any moment. It is still and full of love. Forget about the things your mind is telling you. It is wrong. Go there when you are sad. Go there when you are anxious or angry or worried. Go there when you are happy. Go there when you are alone in your car on a busy street or when you are surrounded by the people you love. Forget what you “know”. You are not your body. You are not your past. You are not your future. The essence of your being is love. Your spirit is always waiting for you to remember that. So go to that place in the center of you. Let the deep love swallow you whole. Everything is always okay, even when it’s not. Let go of the brain’s need to remind you of everything that weighs you down. You are love. Now breathe, smile, repeat. - Emery Allen

Oh my.   Love this!

I have been hearing this from different sources lately.  We are full of love from the source, our higher power.   Our path to wholeness is coming out of our programming, our thoughts, the stories that we tell ourselves that we are not good enough and what we need to do is go back to where we were as a small child, with free flowing love. 

The top quote is THE ticket, my golden ticket to go back to the essence of my spirit of LOVE.  This is the truth for me to follow.  Some hours, days it is harder to get there, but it is always there.  I'm learning to let the feelings flow, the thoughts go and to rewire my programming.  Writing, music, sometimes a comedy or a drama or especially an OWN show, nature, the love of my family, my spiritual formation class,  all help bring me there to see the divine within.  Most of the time, it's me recognizing my own self worth. 

Everything is always okay, even when it's not. Christmas is approaching rapidly.  I miss my mother in law.  This is our second Christmas without her.  She loved Christmas and the decorations.  She might forget birthdays but Christmas was her thing.  She liked lots of Christmas nick nacks.  I despise nick nacks and I almost want to put some out despite that fact, but she is still here even without the nick nacks.

My dad is sick and getting sicker bit by bit.  I don't have the same open relationship with him as I did with my mother in law.  As she was dying, she would look at me and say, "Are we okay, you and I?"  And I would say, "we are fine" because we were.  It was an uncomfortable conversation but it was a continuation of openly talking about "things."   She and I came a long way after she moved here and many conversations we would talk and some of the time, agree to disagree, which is a beautiful thing.

With my dad, he is not a talker and definitely not about feelings.  When I went to hug him at Thanksgiving, and as I moved away, he pulled me in again and hugged tighter and longer.   This is as good as it gets.  

Everything is always okay, even when it's not. 

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