I have two daughters, three years apart. They could be no different from one another. Why do I think that they should be more alike? For some reason I do. On a daily basis, it comes into my head, and I take note of the differences. One helps me get out of the house on time, putting unbelievable pressure on me to do so, while the other has no concept of time. I have to remind myself to get my behind in gear with daughter #2 because we will never leave the house if it is just us two.
One loves to do her hair and makeup and is into clothes and could shop and spend money for hours. The other could care less and does not want to spend money. One can easily start a conversation with a stranger, the other not so much. One is always on time, knows exactly what is on the agenda and how things run. The other rolls with it and flies by the seat of her pants a lot.
And the Big bad truth is that I need to let them be who they are.
No matter what!
This is a tall order. But I am working really hard to do just that. Over the last few months, I had to explore one important issue that could mean big changes for the whole family in order to let one child be who she is.
My oldest daughter has had a hard time fitting in at her current school. Her personality is more quiet and shy and with different interests than most of her peers. She has tried to fit in. Middle school for girls can be cruel, period but, especially when you are not like the other. It is all about fitting in, but what if you don't? Throw in social media and it can be a nightmare. The school that she has attended for the last ten years, happens to be on the smaller side. There are only 18 girls in her grade with 32 boys rounding it out. There is not much place to turn to find female companionship.
At the beginning of the school year, she was already burned out and begin to make comments about not wanting to go to school. And she loves school. For the last few years, I had asked if she wanted to look into other schools and that high school would be the best time to do so. I never really thought she would say yes.
She said yes.
After many, many conversations, a lot of exploration, school visits, and months of waiting on admissions: we are starting high school at a brand new large girls' school in August. There are around 275 girls per grade. I'm ecstatic that she gets to explore new territory and find girls with similar interests.
My other daughter is happy as can be where she is.
So I will now be driving to two different schools and dividing my loyalties.
I never saw this coming.
I have grieved that one daughter will be leaving the only school we have known for ten years and the sisters won't be at the same school anymore. I will absolutely move through it because I am a thousand percent positive this is our path for now.
Life is full of curves.