(*Wrote this draft 2 years ago, but never published and was reminded about it yesterday when her ex-husband passed away. )
Watching Super Soul Sunday and something profoundly moves me.Madonna Badger, a woman from Connecticut, lost her three daughters and parents in a fire in her home on Christmas Eve 2011.
Now take that in.
Her older daughter was 9 and the twins were 7. And her parents. All in one night.
So much devastation and the woman is still standing.
She and Oprah talked about how lost loved ones are still with us. Madonna shares her experience of conversations with her children and how mind-blowing it is. She describes one particular time where her pain was so devastating, so deeply intense and the tears felt like blood coming from her eyes. And she looked in the mirror and saw her children. And they spoke to her and comforted her. And she wanted to let who was with her know that it was real.
She says she can feel them and when this occurs her chest feels full. And this only happens when she feels super present in her body. When she is bitter or angry, she cannot feel her children.
Whoa. This struck my soul.
When I am bitter and angry, love does not come out. Love is no where near. Now, there is a place for anger and it can tell you where you need boundaries but staying in that place of anger and bitterness, does not move me forward and only leaves one stuck. I have stayed angry about things for years and am slowly, slowly learning, I don't want to reside in anger any more. I learn to allow anger to move through. And I still stand amazed every time it does.
It seems Madonna's truth came quickly to her because it was the only way to experience her beloved children.
As Madonna vulnerably spoke this truth on this show, she commented that she doesn't understand why it is that way.
Anger does not take you to the profound places that love does. (Did I come up with this, I must have?)
Love is the answer. Love is always the answer. And learning to love myself has always been the key to being able to turn it around and love others.