This is why I don't care anymore...

No one wants to talk about this...I DO want to embrace it. I watched (who else?!) an Oprah show a couple years back and the focus of the show, Menopause and embracing The Change. And that was back in my giddy thirties, when I bought Dr. Northrup's Wisdom of Menopause and read a little bit in preparation, yet smugly thought, "it's not time for me." Well, here I am at 41 and a few nights ago, I had a night sweat, yes, my first night sweat*. Woo Hoo, lets celebrate!

I have also had low grade nausea it seems all week, especially in the morning. And then I had a weird headache in the back of my head and that was the night I woke up covered with sweat. So I google nausea and perimenopause...and did you know there are 35 possible symptoms of menopause!!! Once you read the list, that whole notion of trying to embrace this seems a little more daunting. None of it sounds good.

And you can have symptoms of what could be pregnancy: nausea, breast tenderness, moodiness, and then you get scared to death that somehow the husband's snip snip didn't take. And here is the kicker, it could be the opposite of pregnancy, you are entering the state of no return, the state of... perimenopause. And this state can last 5-10 years. Woo Hoo!! Celebrate good times, come on...

I really am trying to embrace forty. I do LOVE the loss of one huge time waster (and it is also detrimental to one's well being), and that is worrying about what other people think. I now know the reason that as you grow older you stop worrying about what other people think... you don't have the time!! There are so many other thoughts and activities that come with age: I have to remember to look for chin hairs, remember to do lower back stretches first thing when I wake up in the morning, remember not to pick up heavy items or at least do so with my knees bent. Finding grey hairs that just look ripe for plucking if it has been too long between coloring. Shopping for shoes takes longer because style has taken a back burner to comfort. Heels are just painful.

And although I don't need glasses yet for reading, the print on the A/C control is extremely small, so I have to go find some reading glasses. I also pet the cats for longer than 30 seconds, because I realize it's just as good for me as it is for them because there have been studies about this... I have started playing games that involve the mind, to hold on to mental acuity as long as possible. Oh and lastly, taking care of the young kids...that I had later in life.

These are just some of the activities that keep me involved as I am aging and I have had to let worrying about what others think go. So I'm ready for the next hot flash...the girls will have to pile on the blankets because I will turn the A/C down. Now let me go find those reading glasses just in case...


*I do vaguely remember having night sweats while using fertility drugs. So this night sweat was not pharmaceutically induced.