Saturday, October 9, 2010

No great title.

There have been so many lessons for me going on right now and I don't have much time to write about them and I miss that. Things have slowed down a bit and I am trying to squeeze some coherent thoughts out. Some of the lessons are more shareable than others. I still want to write about my Glam experience with Adam Lambert, it was so much fun and that blog is coming. I'm waiting for a copy of a sermon from church to tie it all together!! Yes, I will tie my Glam Nation experience with God!! I love putting those connections together and seeing Gods work all over, not just related to the four walls of a church. And in places and people that a narrow minded person would never allow to happen. I use to be narrow or think I was supposed to be narrow, but now I am opening it wide up. I love that about myself now!!

I have been going non-stop for the last few weeks and that is not normal for me and I can't hang. I am so far from being Type A - I'm not sure how far they go into the alphabet, (maybe Type L for lazy) but I do not like going and going. I have SO learned that quiet, reflective time is what keeps me going. I am sitting in my bedroom, typing with the windows open because it is wonderfully cool outside!!!, the cats are on the window sill and I'm listening to birds chirping as well as the noise of suburban Baton Rouge. I am tired, the last couple of days, sleep has been disturbed by heavy thoughts in the middle of the night. But that is okay. That is life. In the past, I would have freaked out and said, I can't go on, and been extremely negative and fought myself the entire time, now I am learning I can go on and I don't spend as much time having the thoughts go round and round. I have learned to stop and examine the thought and then let it go or do something about it.

There have been many tears shed this week for all kinds of reasons. I have fabulous friends who have listened to me cry and vent. I am so grateful for my friends and my therapist!! It takes a village. I'm just learning to expand the village, think out of the box, and stop thinking in ideals. One day at a time.

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