Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I'm Feel Numb And It's Not Just My Forehead

The last two days have been doozies. On Monday, I went to my dermatologist's office to try out Botox treatment for the first time. I had purchased a treatment at a reduced cost at an open house and decided I might add a little botulism to my life. Why not? I have some forehead wrinkles that I have been noticing more as of late but I didn't really know how I felt about starting Botox. I began wondering would I tell people, would I tell the girls? How does this fit in with the healthy life approach that I have been embracing. And that was the thought train I was on when I arrived at the office. And then...

I got to the clinic and remembered I had a mole biopsy two weeks prior and hadn't heard back about it. Weeks ago, at another clinic that I had been to for laser hair removal a nurse pointed out this mole and said to show it to my doctor. Back at the dermatologist's office, I brought up that mole biopsy and it became the classic scene that I know I have seen in a movie. First, the nurse couldn't find the paperwork, then she found it and said, "Oh, the doctor will be in to discuss this." That didn't sound good. My heart sank a little.

Several minutes later, the doctor walks in and I am hearing although it's bad news, it's good because it is "in situ." Malignant melanoma in situ was the diagnosis and "in situ" is good because in Latin it means "in place." It all sounds Greek to me and my heart sinks further.

What? I'm just stunned. It felt like slow motion just like the time I got in a car accident in Buffalo and I did a 180 on the snow covered highway. Even though I ended up on the shoulder, I watched in slow motion as the other car hit me. My car spinning around freaked him out and he hit me head on anyway.

I immediately had thoughts of being thankful for my vanity (!) that a) I got laser hair removal with a nurse who brought attention to this mole and b) I came into the office for Botox. In hindsight, I was really glad that I was in person to hear the news and could talk to the doctor directly.

She brought up that George could do the surgery or she could. It needed to be done in the next week or two. (I was ready then and there) She drew on my leg what the incision would look like. Sun damage was probably the cause. We would have to be more vigilant and check moles every 3 months for a period of time. And then we went ahead with the botox. We didn't discuss it, and it was already paid for, so why not.

I came home called a few friends and laughed as I said, "I feel numb and it's not just my forehead." The blog title jumped out at me. I laughed more about having discovered this while going for botox. Quite the irony. Laughter really is the best medicine. I don't really care who knows I have had Botox now.

I was not expecting this in the least. I had not concerned myself one iota with the shave biopsy, it was an afterthought that I brought it up. There has been so much going on and now Christmas is at hand. GaGa has worsened slightly. My dad has been doing well with his dialysis at home thus far. George has his Board exam on December 8th. Crazy busy.

So every year for the last few years, I have said I'm going to keep Christmas simple.


THIS... IS... THE... YEAR!

On Tuesday, I had the football shaped excision to remove the proper amount of skin around the mole deemed by the American Dermatological Association. I have a 2 inch incision that I am now tending to. And waiting for the biopsy results. I'm trying to push it out of my mind but the pain of the incision is quite the reminder.

I do feel like we caught it early. This is what the first biopsy results imply but the important results are five to seven days away. I can't exercise or do yoga for about a month. I'm having to rest. I'm enjoying mindless television right now and that is SO okay.

This story is to be continued...

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