Sunday, December 4, 2011

Settle Into Your Bones

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
~Mother Teresa

Beautiful quote! I so love the part about contentedness with yourself and the knowledge "settling" into your bones. That is what I have felt very much in the last months and I have worked really hard to get there. It could also be described as being comfortable in my skin. Whatever description you use, I feel it now. There is so much yin and yang going on for us now. It's the Christmas season and the family gathered together and we put on the Christmas music and decorated our tree and also outside with our "Griswaldish" lawn ornaments. And I'm patiently waiting to hear if my leg is now free of melanoma cells.

Last night, George and I visit GaGa at the nursing home before heading to the festive Ochsner Holiday Party. She asks what year she is born and we reply 1932. She asks what year it is now. Upon learning that she is 79, she says that's too long. She is in pain, can't use her words, can't dial a phone or change a tv channel and told us she is ready to die. The tears fell down her cheeks and when I hugged her goodbye, some fell on my new blouse. She loved my new blouse and was worried about the stain.

I am in the sandwich generation. I see the agony of illness and age and it is contrasted with the energy and celebration of youth. I have come to embrace both. It's not easy but now I know how much to appreciate my children's enthusiasm and energy. I have always been thankful for the miracle of their presence in my life as it did not come easy. But now watching someone fade away, my appreciation is even deeper.

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