Sunday, December 11, 2011

And now, back to regularly scheduled stress...

I had clear margins from my second melanoma skin biopsy!! I am thankful and relieved. And now back to regularly scheduled stress. I asked for prayers from my church, sunday school class, Facebook, and children's school. During the week plus of my active melanoma scare experience I stayed relatively relaxed. I credit this to prayers, lots of deep breathing and this journey to fear less, and love more. I purposely didn't look anything up online because there was nothing I could do about it, and I wanted to sleep at night and not heighten my anxiety.

Here is a clip from Big Bang Theory that I love and happens to be on the subject of prayer, in an offhand satirical way. (Please comment if satire is not the right word for this?) I was aware of a church growing up that wanted to lay hands on my friend to pray her head cold away. I know teetotalers. I also feel sure I know several who would want to pray the gay away.

Not so long ago, I would have seen this show and clip as blasphemous, and now I see it as really freaking funny. I had a really skewed vision of God. I feared God, felt him and the church judging me and was not open to the love coming in. I also felt I wasn't worthy of God's love. All of this is changing.

I wasn't sure if I should put my prayer request out there during "the scare" to ask my 600 friends on FB for prayers or in other places. I would definitely ask them on behalf of other people but not myself. Again, not feeling worthy of asking. Two of my FB friends, said how could we pray if we didn't know? Well, they had a point. I am worthy. I am learning this more and more as time goes on. As well as the fact, that God has a sense of humor. I really believe this to be true.

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