Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. ~Kahlil Gibran
Wow- Chewing on this one a little bit. I have had this post sitting as a draft for a few weeks and I had to, in order to fully accept the truth of Kahlil's statement.
The last two weeks, I came face to face with some lessons that I had visited and thought I had conquered already.
Ha ha ha. Conquered already.
Just when you think you have a deep personal truth wrapped up with a bow on it...Here it comes again, unwrapped.
One of my friends pointed out evolving is like a spiral and you do encounter some of the same issues again but at a different level and perspective. I thought, geez, I had already covered this ground. I thought I had moved on but alas, I had to revisit some core issues. The good thing, is that it didn't hurt quite as much as it did the first time and I was able to come to the understanding sooner but evidently it was needed again to continue my journey.
But I felt broken open and raw for several days. These are not fun feelings to go through. I would have done anything in the past to NOT feel that way, but now I see it is all part of the process. Pain is inevitable in life. It's how we waddle in it or learn to move on from it that makes all the difference. I have been a waddler for a good portion of my life and now I'm gaining the skills to move on and actually gain strength and understanding from the pain. It's new territory, it's not easy and it takes time to learn the skills but it feels very freeing in the long run.
Postscript: Feeling pain feels so monumental to me and I think today I was reminded why. My therapist told me that we as humans will do anything to avoid pain. The research is there to back this up. Even more than a desire for food, we will work harder to avoid pain. I guess this answers why the journey of awakening that I'm on, is not a popular one. But I am so thrilled when I find other pilgrims along the way!