Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Letting Go and Holding On

Two weeks ago, Mallory was home sick with a fever and a sore throat.  She loves to languish in our new tub and watch the Disney Channel for as long as she can.  While she was in there, we went through her "tub toys" to declutter.  Sometimes there are items that I am secretly relieved that she doesn't want to get rid of but this time she was ready for these Disney Princess figurines to go.

I'm not ready to let them go.

GaGa bought these for her on our first family trip to Disney in 2009.  Mallory was feeling sick the first day and she played with these for hours at the hotel room.

I am not especially fond of the message of the Disney princess story lines with the exception of the last two movies.

So why I am attached to this plastic figurines?  For the moment, they represent what GaGa did with us and for us.  She was an active part of our family, and knew how to entertain a three year old.  She got on the floor and played.  She was up for most anything.

I miss her.  I had a really good cry last week because it was the first Grandparent's chapel at the girls' school without her being alive.  It hit me after I dropped them off that day and there was so much excitement and bustling going on.  I wept and then it passed.

I use to believe that the passing of someone was insurmountable.  I am beginning to understand they are still with you and show up to make their presence known and I believe if you pay attention you can be comforted by that.  My sister in law is pregnant and due soon with their first and most long awaited for child.

I feel GaGa all over that.

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