Pelicans Are All That and More

Since Friday, I have been under the weather. I stayed in bed all weekend.  I caught what Mallory had but she seems to recover from it more quickly than I.  For the first time this morning,  I feel like I'm coming out of it (or I'm taking the right combination of OTC meds, thank you cough suppressant medicine!) I still felt bad yesterday afternoon, but I was beginning to get stir crazy. Over the weekend, George had kept up with the girls and their activities, but Monday was here and it was my turn again. I knew Riley would want to get out the house.

After a morning of resting with the strenuous activity of cleaning out the DVR,  I saw pictures of pelicans at the LSU Lakes on Facebook and knew, this was it. I want to get out of the house and go see the pelicans.   I adore seeing the pelicans.  A few weeks ago while attending a meeting on campus, I exited the interstate at Dalrymple and unexpectedly  was overwhelmed to see many of them gathered.  It's an amazing sight.   I was planning to see them when I left the meeting. I was drawn to them and the quiet.  I was having anxiety over my upcoming Boston trip, and my to do list.  Sadly, they were not in the same location when I left the meeting.

Over the years, coming home after church, we have stopped a time or two to drive around and find them.  At least one time, it was quiet enough to see them and hear them even with the complaining.   The girls did not want to be there at all but I soaked it all in as quickly as possible.  I remember it being spectacular.  What was fabulous was to see and hear them fly.  It has stayed with me and I wanted more.

The pelicans are nature in all its glory doing it's thing. And it's a quiet activity.

And I adore the quiet.

I have learned I really need and am energized by the quiet.

I am an introvert and it is the only way for me to recover from being with people and all the noise of the world is to be alone, still with my thoughts.  I know this about myself but still try to deny it and fit in with others until I start to lose my mind.

During that recent Boston trip, my friends and I went to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum near Fenway Park.  It is four stories of art that Ms. Gardner collected over her lifetime, but in the middle of the museum which was her home is a magnificent atrium.  Each floor as I gazed at the art, I was drawn back to the open windows leading to the atrium in the center.  The atmosphere was hushed, I longed to go and sit and just take it in.  I don't know why I didn't listen to my intuition and do it.  If anybody, this group of ladies would completely understand my ducking out to sit and take it in.  I'm still learning to listen to my intuition and not do what I think I am supposed to do and do what I want to do.



Yesterday afternoon, Riley was willing to go see the pelicans.  I had to promise Mallory a treat and I didn't care how terrible it was that I was bribing her.  In the end, she agreed to go without a bribe because that's who she is. And we set off.  This could go really ugly really quickly because my near teen and teenager do not hold back on their displeasure if things don't work out.  We are learning though, that is life.  That is one of my missions, to teach them to roll with life and embrace what is.

I didn't know which way to go and that didn't matter.  We just went.  And we found them!  They weren't all in one place but I saw them.  I maneuvered a bit around the lakes to get more up close and personal as they moved themselves.

They do not stay in one place.  Why did I think they would?

I got some pictures, but I was really trying to take them in, into my consciousness just as they were.  I tried to do it quickly before the squawking started.  You know the kids, not the birds. I parked in a stranger's driveway which made the kids uncomfortable but I did it anyway. And I was able to take the picture below.  It was spectacular to watch the birds fly in and land on the water.

I am taking an oath right here, right now, to listen to my intuition as I'm steered to the healing quiet.

It is where the divine is.

Namaste.

Peace During The Chaos of Christmas

"At the still point, there the dance is." T.S. Eliot

It's the mad, mad Christmas season.  Way too much to do.

Way too much to do.

I now know myself that I need down time and quiet almost as much as I need oxygen.

I'm not kidding.

I have come to understand how very, very, utterly important it is.  It is when the best of me comes out.  (you know that thing… what do you call it? oh yeah- In touch with the Divine Inner Presence) That is when I feel peace and calm and everything feels right with the world.  I feel I can love the entire world and even those who are the most unloveable. (I find more and more that is myself)  It is when my creativity flows.  It is when I can cry and be sad or feel utter joy and gratitude or just sit and be.

And the way that it intermingles around those moments or hours or days of anxiety and fear that make the peaceful quiet moments even that much sweeter.

But I have to be still to feel it.  I have to be in the present moment.  Not worrying about the next thing.  Not worrying about what did or did not happen in the past. It has taken several years of a conscious shift in my thoughts to begin to do this on a regular basis. It takes so much practice, practice, and more practice.

To be in the present moment.

I treated myself and Mallory to a pedicure on Saturday afternoon.  I had been wanting to have my feet "worked on" for several weeks.   The family had gotten up and 6:00am that morning on a Saturday for Mallory and George to participate in the Girls on the Run race.  I lost my good $$ reading glasses on the field.  George and I had two Christmas parties to attend that night (an introvert's first world nightmare).  Mallory had a birthday party to go to in an hour and a half.  There was laundry out the wazoo that needed to be washed or folded or put away.  There were more Christmas presents to buy.  There were outside decorations to be put up.  There were more ornaments to be put on the tree.  There were boxes to be put away.  The house was (and is) a mess.  There were more Christmas cards to be addressed.  I had no idea what I was going to wear that night.  My hair had not been washed in several days.   There were more thoughts to be had in my head to figure out logistics, etc…and you get the idea…

And the Christmas music was blaring. (and it was not a soothing instrumental)

But as I sat with my feet soaking in the water and being tended to, I was so enthralled in the moment.  I put my head back, closed my eyes, ignored the crappy music and breathed deeply.  I had looked forward to this moment for several weeks.   It was a peace orgasm.  Even amongst the chaos, my mind settled down and I was IN THE MOMENT.  Many months ago, I had a FB acquaintance write about her first ever pedicure experience and the description of it was so detailed and her enjoyment and pleasure of the experience was eye-opening.  She was ecstatic at something I took for granted.

I can enjoy and be at peace with most anything I have to- if I change my thoughts about whatever it is.

Thoughts are so powerful.

If we can be in the present moment, the exquisiteness of being alive is overwhelming.

(And my toes are the prettiest shade of red.)

Namaste.

When Did You Stop Dancing?

From the Facebook page Elephant Spirituality:

The four universal healing salves.

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions.

When did you stop dancing?

When did you stop singing?

When did you stop being enchanted by stories?

When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experienced the loss of soul.

Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.

~ The Four-Fold Way: Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Healer, Teacher and Visionary

Oh My....Good Stuff.

Tripping Up So I Could Sit Down

I needed a break.

So I tripped unloading groceries and sprained my ankle.  It hurt.  It still hurts.

But this Sunday morning, I am sitting in a house by myself with my foot propped up and a bag of ice and enjoying quiet, stillness and my thoughts.

I SO NEEDED THIS.

I could cry thinking how much I'm delighting in the quiet (except for the occasional dog sounds) even while I'm in pain. Did I unconsciously do this so I would have to sit down?

I don't know.  I know I have to revel in this quiet now because come tomorrow, I am back on duty, full on.  The kids can help though and making them step up, pushes their boundaries of leaning on mom when they could do for themselves.  Interesting to watch, because it tugs at me.  I'm supposed to take care of them.  But as they mature, they can start taking care of their own needs, which is the goal of parenting.

Well, time to go revel in the quiet again, before it's over.

Silence is Golden

From Joan Chittister's book, "The Monastery of the Heart"

Chapter 5 -Silence

Silence is the mother

of the spirit.

It births in us the

cloister of the heart.

It brings us beyond the noise

of chaos and clutter and confusion

of a spinning world

to the cool, calm center

of the spiritual self.

Silence enables us to rest in that center,

to allow God to work in us there,

to clear from our hearts

whatever thoughts or pain,

desire or demands,

clamor within us for puerile attention

and so take us away from our best selves

The chapter goes on but these first two sections of poetry spoke volumes to me. I believe and have felt the "cool calm center of my spiritual self." What fantastic description. When I feel that way it is unbelievable. I then have to remember to practice the steps that took me there in the first place.

I also like that being centered, God is able to work (or we are able to pay attention his work) to bring about our best selves. I know I am a continual work in progress. Just today, I went through a myriad of emotions (frustration, anger, grief) and here I am, now in gratitude. If I just sit with the emotions, they can flow through. I didn't yell at anybody though I really wanted to. I didn't pick a fight with my husband because I knew my feelings were not directed at him but our situation that we have no control over. And I was quiet and didn't say anything and then had some quiet time to myself which rejuvenated me.

Silence can be very golden.