For us, first grade is really three weeks and four days away and that is for Riley. Mallory does not start until after Labor Day, and that is September for those of you who don't keep track...September which seems like a REALLY long way away.
But...to borrow from writers Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris and sung by Gloria Gaynor.
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
The issue that gives me pause is that we really have no plans those last 3 weeks and 4 days (no counting going on here!!) No camp, no summer mother's day out, no vacation, no VBS. (This week Riley has the second week of a theatre camp and she didn't want to go on Friday or Monday and I hate that, what do I do with that as I know she enjoys most of it?) And I've got to get on the ball and make them. Or at least have a template of what we will do to occupy those days. I know of activities we can do, and there are several things we said we would do this summer and haven't yet. As a mother of young children, you always have to have a plan, and think ahead. That has not always been my strong suit but I have been learning how to gradually.
In truth, the summer has gone really well thus far, flown by as we have stayed busy, really busy especially as of late. All of that busyness, wears me out, but if we are not busy anarchy breaks out. So busy = sanity. They will start school eventually and I can recombobulate. And believe it or not, there is a part of me that is sad that they will start school. That part comes out when they are tucked in their beds sleeping, or when I have a sitter, those times when it is quiet and I am able to think without interruption ; )
With all of our togetherness this summer, Riley has begun clinging to me a little more. Part of me is not surprised. She did not want me to go to a dinner party on Saturday at all. I also said that I would be going to the spa this coming Saturday in preparation for my birthday on Sunday and she does not want me to do that either. She wants to be with me instead of going to theatre camp. We have worked through this issue before and it has come around again. The therapist says, I'm teaching her how to take care of herself, by me modeling taking care of myself. I get that intellectually but it still makes me feel guilty for a little while. And maybe...I like feeling needed...hmmmm, that's food for thought.
The other part is I have learned that the school year IS A GRIND, and we haven't even started the years with homework yet. One day last week, I just felt at one with my van, I was in it all day carting children around. Three trips to my mother in laws in one day, the last being because Riley changed her mind about playing bingo and staying the night. Aaaarrrgggghhhh. I realize having to be at school the same time every morning for Riley and then taking Mallory to her "school" and then picking her back up at the appointed hour and then back for Riley at the right time is a grind. Then you add on extracurricular activities which I keep at a minimum. All that said, I am beginning to get why stay at home moms look forward to the summer to not have the "grind." (There are also no major holidays during the summer. Major holidays=lots of work) But I realize we need some kind of a routine, for the children as well as myself. There has to be a balance. That word is one that keeps coming back to me and I'm paying attention to it.
Here's to the rest of the summer and keeping balance.
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