Friday, July 3, 2009
I'm exhausted and it's vacation time
I completely stress out the week before a trip, notice I said trip, not vacation. They use to be vacations before children but now they are trips. Everything is about the children and what will excite them and occupy them. Am I dying to go to the American Girl store? Well not really but evidently this is what parenthood is about... I digress. We fly out of New Orleans around 11:25 Saturday, on our way to Chicago. And we have a family wedding to attend in Wisconsin, next Saturday. And my dogs have been barking since this morning and I'm tired. (for those of you not accustomed to dog talk that means my feet) On top of all of the leaving the house preparations, TMI ALERT, Aunt Flo came to visit and I have cramps. (I just don't think there are many men reading this at all.)
There is so much that has to be done before one leaves. Bills, pets, mail, clothes cleaned, plane/travel entertainment, decisions made, think of every possible thing that you might need, but keep it to a minimum because there were too many bags and they weighed too much last time we went. Mallory wants to bring her big pink fluffy coat that doesn't fit anymore, and I say NO, so there is negotiation, but we are still bringing "Big Dog" who she has slept with since Easter 2 years ago. And he is not called "Big Dog" for nothing, he will take up a third of the suitcase. Riley wants to bring her hair bows for her stuffed dog, that she never uses on a regular basis but they are small, so they get a yes.
I don't know why this drives me crazy, this packing for a trip. I did start earlier this time. I began thinking things out on Monday and today is Friday. I also worry about flying, but for me it is about feeling clausterphobic. Many moons ago, I was flying back late on a Sunday night by myself maybe from visiting George before we were married. That was my first experience I believe with a mile panic attack and you never forget that feeling. This morning, I started thinking about that kind of panic feeling I would have getting on board the plane. I have a panic reaction that goes down my arms and it tingles and this is not a good tingle. I'm thinking this way because a friend mentioned that she and her husband and 5 month old recently were stuck in the plane for four hours waiting to take off for the same exact route we are going to take. I remember hearing at Christmas time a couple of years ago that people were kept on an airplane for 9 hours under deplorable conditions. I would not do well stuck on a plane for that amount of time AT ALL. The thought of it completely panics me, and then I begin thinking about yoga and deep breathing.
The good thing is that ever since I had kids and the few times we have flown, my mind is completely occupied with taking care of them and I haven't been able to go to the bad places of anxiety. I do see that there is rain expected in Chicago on Saturday when we fly in and I am going to be doing some deep breathing and hopefully my children will keep me busy if we do get stuck in a bad situation. And I did borrow a few Zanax just in case of the worst case scenario!!! I've never taken them but it seems like a really good backup plan. These are the kinds of things I have to remember before taking a trip. I am beginning to look forward to the American Girl store. Riley is so excited for the both of us and it will spread by the time we get there.