Wednesday, December 23, 2009

December 26th

I cannot believe it is Dec. 26th. I wanted to write about my "keep it simple stupid" Christmas. At the end of November, I started with some rather intense "oh my gosh it's going to be Christmas and I've done nothing" anxiety and decided this is THE year to let it go and keep it simple. I did not want to feel that way the entire month of December, so off I went with serious intent and more coping skills than ever before!

I signed up for an advent study that would use up some of my precious kid free time and I have found that the one hour a week has added, not subtracted from the season. The music, the readings, the fellowship have added more meaning instead of feeling like I was adding more duties.

Spontaneously, I let the kids take pictures with Santa after school one day in school uniform and dirty preschool clothes and it was a fabulous, magical, no waiting in line experience with Santa. Relaxing and letting go has made anxiety prone tasks so much more enjoyable. I marvel at how easy some tasks can be when they were the opposite before. Not having an agenda and rolling with life is so much easier.

Now some things have to get done and I'm the one to do it, but whether my return address Christmas card label has an extra space between the name and the address, doesn't matter. And that the girls have stuck on stamps crooked, not a problem. At one point, I was going to search out just the perfect paper to print out a Christmas letter with lots of photos on it, and I thought this is where I need to let go. I just printed it on regular paper and it was fine, not perfect, but just fine. What are we going to eat Christmas Eve, I really wanted take out but George wanted to get a ham and make side dishes, so I let it go. George ended up having a very sick patient and worked until 7pm Christmas Eve and GaGa and I cooked and cleaned for Christmas Eve and Day, and I let it go. Tornado warning storms moved through the area as we were to leave for church service on Christmas Eve, so we stayed in and read the Christmas story in Riley's new children's bible. GaGa wasn't feeling up to par to travel to Ethel on Christmas day, so we went ahead and she stayed behind and was able to rest and relax which was what she needed. Letting go of preconceived notions...

I love sending out Christmas cards but I need to make the project easier for the sheer number of cards that I send. It took me days and I had created a work space in the playroom in front of the television. I will admit that I watched "Housewives of Orange County" while I did this task (not while the kids were participating). I am accepting the fact that this is my guilty pleasure watching this show that has no redeeming value whatsoever but what not to do. I have some inner judge and critic that is saying don't watch that show and don't let other people know you watch that show. Let it go.

Letting go. There is also letting go of the ghosts of Christmas past. There is a part of me that wishes I could go back in time and react to some situations in the past as the person I am now, but it doesn't matter anymore. That's where I was then and this is where I am now, I have learned a lot and it has given me great peace. Christmas past, Christmas present and Christmas tightly made plans, just being with those I hold in my heart most dearly, and being present and rolling with it. Merry Christmas!

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