Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Being Defriended on Facebook

I've lost my voice with this blog for a bit.  I haven't written in a while and I truly LOVE to write.  It is so cathartic for me.  So I am forcing myself to write this.

I shared a bit of my authentic self on Facebook.  I linked a blog that had taken me many years of soul searching to write. But it had to do with religion, addiction, being gay and the movie, "Twelve Years  A Slave."  Hot button issues to write about in the Deep South Bible Belt.

After posting the link to my blog, I was pleasantly surprised that there were positive responses immediately.  I would like to say that it shouldn't have mattered but knowing someone else understood and had the same opinion was gratifying.  It is my truth and I have worked so hard to get to the point of saying it out loud…well at least in a blog.

And then about a week later, I realized that one person was not pleased with the blog and needed to not see my "stuff" on FB and defriended without a word.  I was saddened and angry because of who the person was but I remind myself that the reaction that comes back to me has to do with that person.  It's their stuff.

This blog is my truth and I have worked so hard to come to know what I believe at my core.  And I am learning bit by bit that I don't have to have anyone else agree with me either.  And to take it a step further, I can be friends with people who don't have the same opinion as I.  It is called, "Agreeing to Disagree."  

Love them and accept them for who they are.
In my journey, I had to figure out that I was a people pleaser - this was kinda shocking to me as I have progressed out of it, how deeply it went.  I had to learn what boundaries were.  First, I had to have the awareness that I was a people pleaser and what the hell boundaries were and that I needed them,  desperately.   I believe that I had to understand where I came from so I could move forward.  And moving forward to owning my own thoughts, words and actions is so freeing.

The irony with this particular situation of defriending is that my journey to figure out my authentic self, led me to a deeper relationship with God and his Divineness within me, always available to rely on.   And that Divine within is all about love, not judgment. And this person and I just disagree about the "rules" of the God we both believe in.

So I'm back.  I will stop here.  But my journey has to continue whether anyone agrees with me or not.

It is well with my soul.


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