I am making progress in evolving my mind but it takes time and the progress is slow but I catch small glimpses of it here and there and VBS has always been fertile ground for growth.
And it was that time again this past week. This annual one week church experience has taught me much about myself over the years.
These have been my thoughts on the subject over the years: You are supposed to volunteer for VBS. It's church, it's for the kids, and you are a stay at home mom thus you are supposed to do this.
This year due to happenstance of being in close proximity to the VBS director one Sunday morning, I asked for an easier job with less hands on interaction with the kids. Some weeks during the summer, depending on how much self care I have had, I can feel like I'm on the brink of losing my mind. I KNOW I need
And thankfully she obliged. I now understand the directors each year want to keep their volunteers happy.
She put me in the Story Room as an Assistant to the person who leads a science experiment. It was a less intensive job except for the worry that my leader might not show up and I would be on my own. I had that thought every day that I would not want to do that. Why do I think I am supposed to want to do that, because after watching friends that I know are teachers act out the stories, and quiet the children with certain techniques.
I was still thoroughly exhausted as the week went on but I was not angry, paranoid, etc as I have been in years past. I even brought kids from the neighborhood which was fun for me and for my girls.
Mallory was disappointed that I did not lead her class as a guide but she got over it. This is taking a page from the "Let me disappoint you" guidebook. She got over it and other people do too. I had that same aha again. I have to work VBS one more year as I volunteered to be on Children's Council for three year and it's part of the job. And then I may take a break. I will figure out what I want to do.