Wednesday, January 6, 2016

My First Aerobics Class Since 2008

I stepped out of my comfort zone this afternoon.  And I say Hallelujah every time I do this in large and small ways.  I attended a zumba type dance class.  I have not attended any type of "fitness" class other than yoga in many years.  I can tell you exactly when I walked away.  The scene is perfectly etched in my mind.  I see it.

It was 2008 and it was a horrible Muscle Works Class at a local gym.  I wrote about it on June 13, 2009 entitled "Nightmare in Muscle Works"  The instructor was a meanie.  I just reread what happened and I forgot some of the interaction that went on between she and I.  I don't do well with meanies.  Life is too short to deal with people that are negative and condescending.  It was such a defining moment that I walked away from ever attending another class like that for nearly 8 years.

At that time, I did decide yoga was my pathway for class settings but even that was in a very tepid, careful way.   And I LOVE YOGA and what it does for me.    I have had a love/hate relationship with "exercise" for a long time and I'm coming out of it.  That class or rather, that teacher made me feel inferior and discouraged about exercise classes, and I let her.  But yoga helped me work through it.

I realized tonight that I let that one person affect me dramatically.  There were plenty of other classes and teachers and gyms.  Yet, that is okay.  This was supposed to be my journey.

Found a picture on FB! That is me all the way to the left.

So this afternoon, I went to a Refit dance class taught by a teacher and another parent from my children's school.  I have been watching another Facebook friend post about the Refit classes she teaches for a couple of years now.  I was probably invited to attend one but it never entered my mind, that I could DO the class.  It looked somewhat appealing but in my head, I said, I can't.

That is so sad.

But I feel differently today.  I needed to walk away all those years ago.  I needed to practice yoga and develop a healthier relationship with exercise.  I am learning to listen to my body and know that it likes to move.  Not every single day but movement has become joyful moreso than "I HAVE to do this."  My body is a temple and I want to take care of it and that is sinking in more and more.  When I was resistant to going even to yoga, which I have been doing for fourteen years, my friend says she looks upon it as a massage.  I had never thought of it that way.  That is sinking in too.

Now, I WILL be sore for the next few days.  I can already feel some muscles feel like jello.  But it is great to move unused muscles and there is ibuprofen after all.

So, I plan to make another class soon and keep trying. It will take some time to learn the moves but it was fun.  It was a wonderful way to move my body with music and other women and no meanies.



  1. Carolyn, I nodded through this entire post. In my strength, getting through that gym door yesterday was like turning an 18wheeler through an intersection during 5 o'clock traffic- I really thought that it wasn't going to happen. Next, I proceeded to find reasons why it couldn't happen- foremost among my reasons,the dreaded MG: Mama Guilt. I told you that N had a soccer game scheduled at the exact time. I have not missed a game this season, guilt, guilt. Remember, this is not guilt from my child. N insisted that I go to the class; dear hubby insisted as well. Still,Mama Guilt and the hammer of excuses she carried pounded on me.

    In God's strength, getting through that door started with familiar faces smiling and encouraging from the parking lot when I arrived. I signed in beneath a sign that said I was beautiful (I couldn't give my usual sarcastic response about why my sweats and crazy pony-tail look was not beautiful!). Then, I was given a glow bracelet. The glow continued. Yes, some of the glow was sweat, but it was also laughter. I needed to jet early, Mama Guilt in full force insisting that I might still catch a minute of the game, but I grabbed that hammer of excuses and threw it away. Those last few minutes were the best, and here's the miracle: I made it to the game with 10 minutes to spare! Yes, I was wearing my glow bracelets and sweats, but I was beaming s N was put into the game just as I arrived. For future reference, apparently I can get an 18 wheeler through an intersection- even at rush hour. Beware Mama Guilt- I'm coming for you! I may not be strong, but I know the one who is.

    1. See below - I meant to post as a reply.

  2. Yes!! Isn't it amazing what goes on in our heads against us! Breaking the stories down of what we tell ourselves is right or good and what is not. I have found that intuition tells me exactly what to do - that little voice of God, if I can tone down all the other chatter including things like Mama Guilt. Here's to getting 18 wheelers though rush hour intersections!! And putting the air mask on ourselves first! Thank you for commenting.