I Thought Everyone Disagreed with Nazi Germany

 I always thought that everyone was horrified by Nazi Germany.  Slowly, oh so slowly, it's beginning to dawn on me that just might not be true.  Or maybe some US citizens just don't connect the dots between what Trump and the current Republican party are doing and compare to what happened then.  A lot of people are working hard trying to keep a roof over their head and food on the table and have a lot of fear of the other.  We live in our own algorithims and sources of information that skew the "facts."  Yet, we are in scary times.  I recognize I have my own fears. 

Did you know that the Nazis came and studied our Jim Crow laws in the mid 1930's while instituting the Third Reich?  I learned this while reading "Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent" by Isabel Wilkerson.  She describes three caste systems which include India, Germany and the United States.   

I was stunned.  

I'm still stunned and trying to unlearn what I thought was true about our country. 

I had some learning to do. 

What exactly were the Jim Crow laws? The following is from the website of the Jim Crow museum in Big Rapids, MI. 

Jim Crow was a racial system which operated between 1877 to the mid-1960's.  It was a way of life through a series of rigid anti-black laws which legitimized anti-black racism. African Americans were second class citizens. Here's the kicker that I had a hard time stomaching. "Many Christian ministers and theologians taught that white people were the Chosen people, black people were cursed to be servants, and God supported racial segregation."  All major societal institutions reflected and supported the oppression of black people.

Many learn the words Jim Crow in history class for a nanosecond, maybe?  If the right is able to continue to have their way, that little blurb will not be in textbooks, if it is not already gone.  But dive into it and understand the implications on today's situation. ICE is gathering up people based on their looks and throwing them into concentration camps.  There is no due process.  

Around the time of the pandemic, I began reading social justice, anti-racism books with a church group.  I was really naive, and stunned again to learn how the church was instrumental in this systemic racism. 

It makes it easier to understand that many good Christians are indoctrinated and cannot fathom that the land of the free, home of the brave has not fully embraced all of it's citizens.  The Civil War did not end the persecution of blacks, as our government and it's people moved to different and really effective methods of keeping blacks "in their place." 

Currently, the similarities between Trumpism and Nazism are numerous and on clear display everyday: 

Rhetoric and Scapegoating

"Enemy of the People" Framing

Use of Populism: he is the sole savior of a nation in decline

Executive Power and Loyalty 

Retaliation Threats to those who disagree 

Admiration for Authority

I really, really try to see both sides of the current divide.  I read books and read FB posts thoroughly.  I occasionally get caught up but I try to understand.  I wonder how often Trump supporters try to understand why my "side" believes what we do. 

It truly seems unsurmountable right now.  The onslaught of Trump's actions are so fluid and neverending and designed to overwhelm with so many distractions.  The lack of Congressional response to reigning in his actions as we are a three branch system exactly for this reason, is reprehensible.  Checks and balances are the heart of our democratic republic and why we moved from England and it's king.  It is disheartening to say the least.  Greenland is a distraction from rising healthcare costs and the inability to bring food prices down. With midterms coming up, Trump floats not having an election.  What?!!  His degradation of our solid electoral system only occurs if he thinks he's going to lose but if he wins, all notions of a rigged system vanish immediately.  Let's not forget, he tried to overturn a fair and legitimate election and then released the insurrectionists. 

In times like these, I have to turn to historians like Jon Meacham.  From his book, "The Soul of America: 

The Battle for Our Better Angels"  Jon argues that despite intense historical divisions, America's "better angels" (compassion, unity, shared principles) have often triumphed.  We have to turn away from hyper-partisanship and fear and use lessons from Lincoln and continuing all the way up to the Civil Rights era.   We have to appeal to our best instincts not our worst. 

We cannot give up.  We have to speak up.  Even if it's uncomfortable.  There are ways to speak up and not agitate.  No ones mind is changed by arguing. It is by listening to other's stories. 

I really hope our democratic republic is able to survive.  Our norms are being massacred daily.  I'm hoping for better angels.  That is all I can do, and call my representatives, and say out loud that what is happening now is atrocious.  We have to speak up in whatever way we can.  

Namaste. 

 

Facebook Conversations Getting Hijacked

I wrote a Facebook post a while ago about the fact that I don't recognize the Republican party who is taking away healthcare and food from the poor so that billionaires can have more money and to gather up more brown people and put in concentration camps for profit. A commenter from my hometown stated that there were no votes to cut healthcare or feed the poor.  This is completely untrue and they pivoted away from that truth and went to abortion again and again.  A couple of my friends who disagreed with him joined in and off it went for several hours. 

It took me time to see that the responder changed the subject, because he had to validate his vote for Trump.  He stated he can't vote for a party that supports abortion because he is pro-life.   His dogged determination to support fetus cells outweighs everything that can happen to humans outside the womb.  It outweighs every criminal and immoral act of Trump and that was enlightening.  He changed the subject when his points were no longer valid. 

And we let him change the subject.  

This is me reflecting that I have to learn to voice myself in the moment, but I need practice. And I needed to recognize what was happening.   I freeze during confrontation, and that is why I take the time to write.  I need to stay on the subject.  Writing helps me get my bearings, stay open and even keeled. 

The Facebook encounter was enlightening because there was one issue that this person was basing his vote on.  For years, myself and many many others can't wrap our heads around the continued support of Trump.  The Republican party has been hijacked and they have let it happen but the reality is this is who the party is. This is who the party is. There were many times Congress could have stood up and taken power away from this horrendous individual, but they caved to the despot over and over and over again.  It was heartening though that this person on FB doesn't agree with everything that Trump is doing.  A small amount of heartening but I took it.  

Even now, I just got diverted from the topic I intended but it is worth sharing. I just looked up the Moral Majority because of the abortion discussion. Did you know that prior to the Moral Majority movement in the 70's and 80's that the Southern Baptist Convention was in favor of opening up access to abortion in many cases throughout the 70's and after Roe v. Wade?  Look it up!  Abortion is a very complicated moral matter and many religious leaders reflected that in their stance on the issue at the time.  Even James Dobson, in 1973 said the Bible was silent on abortion and that an evangelical could believe that “a developing embryo or fetus was not regarded as a full human being.” The Moral Majority movement used abortion to be the issue to get people to vote Republican because the real issue at hand wasn't as popular to voters.  The motive behind the anti-abortion movement was so that whites-only segregationist academies, many church sponsored (Bob Jones University & Jerry Falwell's included) could keep their IRS tax-exempt status. So racism was the underlying reason.  This is why the Trump party wants to ban books about race.  These are the types of things one learns when they read history.

Now back to what I should have said in the post. 

 I don't vote for a party who supports the person who tried to overthrow our government to stop the formal process of certifying a free and fair election by planning and starting a riot.   I don't vote for the party that lets that insurrection play out for hours without calling in reinforcements and lets police die. I don't vote for the party who asks Georgia's top election official to "find 11,780 votes" and then terrorizes the election workers and lies about an election being stolen. I don't vote for the party who supports the person who grabs women by the pussy, and is convicted of sexual assault.  I don't vote for the party of the person who willfully retains national defense information in their bathroom, which falls under the Espionage Act. I don't vote for the party of the person who lied over 30,000 times his first administration.  (We knew he was lying about Project 2025 too.)  I don't vote for the party who supports the convicted felon due to breaking campaign finance laws.  I don't vote for a party who supports the person who steals from charities and lies on their taxes.  I don't vote for the party of the person who runs a fraudulent university and has a 25 million guilty verdict.   I don't vote for party of the person (& his family) who profits off the office immeasurably.  I don't vote for a party of the person who golfs every weekend and we pay millions to his businesses.  I don't vote for the party who supports the person who brags about watching underage teenage beauty contestants change clothes because the owns the pageant. 

This list can go on and on.  That was my highlight real. 

I don't want to fight on Facebook, it does no good and my nervous system then interferes with my sleep.  But as our country is in the throws of fascism I have to say something. 

For those who can't see it:

 Key characteristics of fascism:

Authoritarianism: Fascism concentrates power in a single leader or party, suppressing dissent and individual freedoms.  (Republican Congress persons have to bow to Trump's every whim or he goes against them and they lose their job)  

Ultranationalism: Fascism promotes an intense form of nationalism, often emphasizing racial or cultural purity and superiority.  (wrapping themselves in flags,  he vilifies all non-white immigrants and people, those "shithole countries" cancelling DEI) 

Militarism: Fascist regimes often glorify military power and conquest, using it to enforce their ideology and expand their influence.  (military parade, use of unidentified ICE agents to round up brown individuals, describes military who get caught or come back wounded as losers) 

Suppression of Opposition: Fascism actively suppresses or eliminates political rivals, critics, and minority groups. (attacks on Obama, Clinton, Biden now trying to use HIS justice system to do so) 

State Control: Fascism seeks to control various aspects of society, including the economy, media, and education, to promote its goals. (Starts tariff wars because he can, suing media networks, excluding history of non-whites and slavery from classroom education, book bans. 

Rejection of Liberalism and Democracy: Fascism opposes the principles of individual rights, freedom of speech, and democratic governance.  (Wants to break up peaceful protests by force which are a first amendment right) 

The facisim is playing out every day and getting stronger. 

Another reason why I couldn't vote for the Trump party. One huge mode of operation of his is narcissism.  He continuously hates on anyone who disagrees with him.  He is so emotionally fragile he cannot handle having opposition.  He hates Democrats or anyone who disagrees with him and wants them in jail and expresses that often.  This bully tactic enthralls certain sects of his supporters and worsens the divide in the country.   He has never once tried to be my President.  His message is divisive, bullying and childish.  Every President before him has tried to unify the country even around huge disagreement.  All of them wanted to be the president for the whole country even though they disagree on policy.  

His authoritarianism, crimes, racism, narcissism, moral deprivation, character flaws and policies are why I could not vote for him or his party. 

Even though I don't like conflict, the Facebook conversation was illuminating. The Facebook commenter is not a terrible person at all.  We wholeheartedly disagree on basic fundamental issues yet I was able to get a glimpse of understanding the "why" of Trump votes.  A small glimpse and that is enough for now. 

Namaste. 

The divine in me bows to the divine in you. 

I Have To Say This Out Loud: Trump Is So Incredibly Unfit for Office

I have been fascinated with the office of the President since college, as well as the virtues of truth and decency, and lastly deconstructing my faith journey, the last 9 years has been rough.  It's been rough on everyone, including Trump supporters.  They are angry and have their reasons but obviously at this point, what he spews must be their belief system.  Trump denigrates his enemies using bigotry, misogyny, racism and sexism all of which has been on display in our faces for a decade now and yet this is all okay.  Let's add his multiple illegal and corrupt activities for decades and his bent to fascism.   He's working hard to stay out of prison.   Trump KNEW whom his "people" were, who would never turn their back on him.  So many of us have waited years as his behavior has worsened for Trumpers to change their minds. Staying with him has always been unfathomable and honestly the biggest disappointment is the support of him by Christians. 

 I'll get to that later. 

Oh and our children are watching. 

I kept waiting and waiting for Nixon era type Republicans who asked him to step down after Watergate to step up but that type of Republican does not exist anymore.  Liz Cheney, US Military Commanders, 700 current and former National Security Advisors and Republicans leaving or no longer in office, thankfully, do exist and have stood up.  

There is a lot of fear stoked, as Trump preaches gloom and doom, hate, revenge in his current word salad.  I equally have fear and doom with the thought of a Trump presidency with no guardrails and a packed Supreme Court that was not properly vetted.  There is free reign for the President with immunity.   Who would Trump bring with him to the office?  Who would be the guardrails? Many of Trump's original hires, which were second and third tier "regular" Republican party, went to prison or were fired because the narcissist doesn't listen to reason.  His VP was fired because Trump tried to have him killed in the insurrection because Pence was doing his job. And now with Trump showing obvious mental and physical decline, JD Vance and Project 2025 could really take over.  Do you want to retain medicare and social security?  Vance is scary because he might actually pass legislation which Trump really couldn't do because he flies by the seat of his pants (and ego)  and has no capacity for coercing bipartisan support.  

 The list of grievances against Trump is so long, one cannot keep it short, but I'm going to try.

One of the issues that speaks the most to me as the mother of two college aged daughters is his lie of "being a supporter of women."  He loves women, the same ones he cheated on, has sexually assaulted and grabbed by the pussy.  He and his henchpersons have overturned Roe v Wade and now allow women to die in parking lots because doctors fear retribution.  They force female children, victims of rape and incest to have babies. Childbirth has always been risky and through more advanced medical practices, less women and babies have died over the decades, but not anymore. Maternal death is on the rise. 

Abortion is healthcare.  Abortion is healthcare that women need.  Miscarriage, ectopic pregnancies, fetal abnormalities, maternal life endangerment are all reasons for removal of the fetus and/or to keep the woman alive.  If men were the ones to bear children,  this would absolutely not be happening. 

I thought that the Pro-Life movement was about saving fetuses. But as Republican legislatures have enacted their laws, that is just not the case for them.  It is about control.  Certain legislatures including Louisiana don't care about rape or incest victims of any age.  Some want to take birth control, Plan B, lifesaving Mifepristone medication off the table and into a locked box.  They want to track women going to another state to access abortion care, and put them in jail.  Others are waiting with baited breath to charge the first doctor. This is an attack on women. Trump says women love it, one of his many, many, many lies.  As a woman who went through infertility, and the mother of daughters, we can't go back!  Today, a woman miscarrying, or who is told horrible news about their unborn baby, they then have to navigate both the loss of the infant and trying to go out of state increasing emotional, physical and financial burdens and a risk of dying. 

If it was about life, military assault rifles would be banned and background checks would actually occur.  In 1994 when they were banned, deaths went down. When the assault ban expired in 2004, deaths went up.    Also, it is not a black and white issue, it is a both/and issue.  You can keep your non-assault rifles and handguns while reducing the number of ones that do the most damage.  It is common sense.  

Now to Christians who support Trump.  This is the BEST sermon below by a Texas House of Representatives Democrat, James Talerico. It is the voice that I have wanted to hear for a very long time.  The below video is 19 minutes long, here are the highlights:  "Christian Nationalists have turned the Son of God, a humble rabbi into a gun toting, gay bashing, science denying, money loving, fear mongering fascist."

Continuing Rep Talerico's words: "Christian nationalists walk around with a mouthful of scripture and a heart full of hate. Don't tell me what you believe. Show me how you treat other people and I'll tell you what you believe. Jesus didn't tell us to love our churches. He didn't tell us to love our doctrines and our creeds. He didn't even tell us to love our scriptures. He told us to love our neighbors, and there was no exception to that commandment. Love thy neighbor, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or immigration status." 

He continues a little later: "You know what's interesting, not once in the entire Bible does Jesus ask us to worship him. All he asks is that we follow him. Love like he loved. Love the outcast. Welcome the stranger. Feed the hungry. Heal the sick. Free the oppressed. As the hymn says, 'they will know we are Christians by our love.' We have to get back to that."

Our children are watching. 

And the real truth is that Kamala Harris is imminently qualified for office, will uphold the constitution, and wants to solve the problems at hand. She will work for women to be able to make decisions about their own bodies, pass the bipartisan border protection bill, work for clean air and water, small businesses, first time homeowners, bring down cost of pharmaceuticals, and preserve relationships with our allies etc. etc. 

It is okay to vote for a Democrat this time, to preserve the great American experiment of a republican form of government. Our forefathers mutually pledged their lives, fortunes and sacred honor to stand firm in declaring independence from a powerful king.  I know if you are a MAGA Trumper and you actually read this, it's not changing your mind at all but I had to get it off my chest. 

Our children are watching. 

Namaste. 

The Mueller Hearing Should Have Had More Glamour

The bottom line from the decorated war veteran who kept our country safe under several Presidents, is that the current President committed crimes but could not be charged because of Department of Justice, Office of Legal Counsel policy. Russia interfered and continues to do so and our current President who is now beholden to Russia will do nothing to stop it because he benefited from it. So our Intelligence agencies do their jobs, and yet... it doesn't matter. (Also could there BE any more dichotomy between straight as an arrow, honest to a fault, full of integrity Mueller and then you knowTrump.)

I still don't understand why are Presidents above the law when they commit crimes to get to the office? Can't this policy be changed?

We have come to a strange sad time in this country where the law and order party means it's okay to welcome and use hostile foreign powers to win an election (and be indebted to that hostile foreign power). Then lie about it to authorities, refuse to cooperate and everyone looks the other way and lies about it. This happened during Nixon's time as well, and only until there was dramatic testimony after weeks and weeks of hearings did the tide finally turn. None of Trump's players will testify. It takes one brave person to step forth and tell the truth and no, it's not the fixer.

We evidently need a prime time glitzy broadcast to educate the general public, so that the facts and the law are presented in a way that everyone can understand, because plain spoken brief affirmations from an aging war horse isn't enough. We need razzle dazzle with female models who are tens only, and lots of American flags, and maybe tanks? It needs to be more like a reality show, with suspense, good lighting, a perfect television soundbite, and a studio crowd yelling "lock him up." That would get the job done, right?

The truth has gone by the wayside. The truth is pummeled every day to bits by this President and the party that stands by him.

I have sadly accepted that because of the Republican majority Senate, Trump will either have to be voted out or serve another four years. For my mental health, I have had to let it go.

And that seems to be the spiritual path as well.

But this is hard to watch if you believe in truth and justice.

And then there's God.

You know, you are not supposed to discuss politics or religion with others. This current situation combines both for me, because I can't fathom how "Christians" and their leaders support this lying, corrupt, egotistical person with no morals or ethics.

Who would be drawn to Christianity when Evangelical support for Trump has never wavered? A lying, corrupt, inarticulate, pussy grabbing, draft dodging, racist, dictator loving, fascist leaning President who needs to be the center of attention at all times. He uses and abuses race bating, patriotism, and qualifies for two different personality disorders. He paints complicated issues in broad strokes and continues to amplify the division in our country to new lows. All while never cracking open and reading a briefing. (That one really kills me LOL)

Trump is the ultimate black and white thinker.

And this is exactly what all Christians are called spiritually to overcome. Hold the tension.

Lose yourself and your ego and let go.

Trust in a higher power.

Jesus, the long haired brown skinned Eastern European Jew, did not reside in America or embrace Christianity but said love your neighbor as yourself. Take care of the less fortunate.

Hold the tension.

If we learn to hold the tension of the opposites, we are able to stretch and grow. When there is more space for seemingly opposite ideas, feelings and behaviors to peacefully coexist. We become less rigid and more flexible, less judgmental and more tolerant, less fearful and more loving.*

More loving.

Didn't Jesus say to love?

Laws are broken, there is no justice. Story as old as time.

I really work to see the other point of political view but I'm worn down.

Trump and his team broke several laws but yet, the only consequences will come after he leaves office. There are also emolument clauses, campaign finance laws and everything he boasted about for years and will any of that come to justice. His dad also gave him four hundred million dollars over time, much of it, was to bail him out of bankruptcy. Laws were broken to avoid paying taxes which are too old to prosecute. I'm sure there's more, but I'm too tired.

So tired of it all.

Sometimes things have to go really bleak, in order to become anew. Can the country do that? The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice. I must remember that.

All I know now, is that my part now, is to hold the tension and love my neighbor. Even those who love Trump.

{Gulp}

Letting it go, holding that tension. Wave at the person who waves at me driving down my street while I walk the dogs. Smile at a stranger. Hold open the door for the next person.

Love.

Namaste.

*(With thanks to Psychology Today)

History Will Not Be Kind to Trump: Do You See What I See?

I wasn't going to write anything about Trump until I could reach beyond a reactionary response to his divisiveness and black and white thinking.  


But you know, I have to start where I am, as an observer with a counselor background and a keen interest in the American Presidency and history.  I have to process what I see.  And I have seen a lot as have you. 

Do you see what I see?

A friend recently pointed out that President Trump meets every one of the criteria for a Sociopath.    Here are the criteria for a high functioning sociopath:  

High IQ: High functioning sociopaths often have a higher IQ than other sociopaths or people without personality disorders. This helps them plan, manipulate, and exploit others.

Lack of empathy: Difficulty is empathizing with others or understanding the emotional consequences of their actions.

Narcissism: They often have strong self-love and grandiose self-image. This occurs because of low esteem and delusional beliefs.

Charming: Although most sociopaths lack empathy, they are capable of mimicking and manipulating emotions to appear charming and normal

Secretive: A sociopath doesn't feel the need to share intimate details with others unless it is to manipulate.  (Tax returns & business dealings after American banks stopped loaning him $)

Sexually deviant: Since they lack guilt, remorse, and emotional attachments, sociopaths tend to have affairs and engage in the questionable sexual activity. (Goes Without Saying) 

Sensitive to criticism: Despite their lack of empathy, sociopaths desire the approval of others. They feel entitled to admiration and are quick to anger when criticized.

Impulsive behavior: Sociopaths often live in the moment and will do what they feel is needed to reach their immediate goals. (Twitter rants and policy) 

Compulsive lying: Disregarding the truth to make themselves look better or get what they want.
Needing constant stimulation: Sociopaths often get bored easily and need to be actively engaged.

Addictive Behavior: Their compulsive mindset may result in addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or other addictive behaviors. (Twitter, controlling the narrative) 

Criminal Behavior: Criminal activity associated with sociopaths could include theft, assault, or destruction of property. (Got In trouble in high school and was sent to military school, and you know, waiting patiently for Mueller)

Isn't it amazing how he meets EVERY SINGLE CRITERIA? Although sociopath is not a DSM diagnosis, it parallels very closely to anti-social disorder which is.  He does meet the criteria for Narcissistic Personality too. 

Why does it matter that this label fits?   On a daily basis we see each of these characteristics playing out in destructive ways in our country in hourly breaking news.  Let's begin with the lies.  As of last month, three thousands lies in the last 466 days.  Every politician glosses the truth, but Trump has hit the high of six lies per day, and ones that are easily proven false, yet his followers believe them.  His supporters at the recent Duluth rally were interviewed and believe that the pictures at the border detention center supplied by Trump's own administration are not real.   

It's not only lying, but the constant gaslighting of the American people when things are not going well for him.  As the Russian investigation gets closer and closer to him, he acts out and distracts. This is his brand management style of a reality TV Show Presidency.  When the noose tightens, distract. He changes the narrative and he's exquisitely pathologically good at this. For example, he first began saying there was no Russian collusion which in and of itself is not illegal, but as communication by his team with Russian emissaries was revealed over and over, he began the pivot as did Nixon, that the investigation by his own appointed Justice Department is flawed and conspiracy theories abound. 

This Russian witch hunt currently has 17 indictments, 5 guilty pleas, and one campaign manager currently behind bars because he couldn't stop criminal behavior even with an ankle cuff monitor.  

He will hire only the best people.  





The Russian investigation began not because of a conspiratorial "deep state" but because his own foreign policy adviser, George Papadopoulos, bragged to Australia's British diplomat in a London bar that Russia had dirt on Hilary Clinton.  

He hires only the best people. 

Australian intelligence counterparts then notified our intelligence offices. That is the way ally Intelligence offices work. U.S. Intelligence doesn't work for the benefit of just one narcissistic U.S. President, they work for the safety of the entire country. 

One or two of his very best people happened to already work as pro-Russian agents for countries like the Ukraine and they accidentally forgot to put that on their official work papers and lied to the FBI about it. 

He hires only the best people. 

Back to the sociopathic tendencies.  What matters to him is attention, optics and ratings and most importantly trying to fill a void of self worth that will never be quenched.   

Trump genuinely reveres and envies dictators. He believes if he had their absolute power, he wouldn't feel so empty and persecuted -- but he is wrong. Nothing will ever fill his infinite sense of emptiness.

— Tony Schwartz (@tonyschwartz) June 16, 2018

 

Tony Schwartz is the writer of  "The Art of the Deal," who spent eighteen months daily with Trump. (He massively regrets his role in the writing of this book and creating the persona.)

The real problem, is he doesn't appear to have a soul.  An August 2016 quote about Trump from recently departed Conservative columnist Charles Krauthammer: "He has a shocking absence of elementary decency and of natural empathy for the most profound of human sorrows, parental grief." 

It's hard to watch our democracy being lead by someone who has no empathy, decency and actively stokes division at every turn. It's a true test of our founding father's framework.   In order to watch the news, I have to balance it and listen to historical scholars who say that our founding fathers envisioned this and our democracy will survive. Jon Meacham is one of them. 

Other than the test of our democracy, the reason I'm so intrigued is that I was fooled too.  I never liked Trump because he was too narcissistic, too sexist and too much.  But I actually thought he could possibly be a legit business person. I was fooled by the gold letters on top of some of his buildings until I learned that those are a licensing facade.  He doesn't own the buildings but rather the right to put his name on it.  He's pathologically good at branding. 

But then I learned the details of his business career: dad's money, bankruptcies, lawsuits, cheating small business owners, failed businesses including Atlantic casinos, which led to American banks no longer loaning him money.  Where did he go for funding to stay afloat? Russian oligarchs and anywhere money could be hidden.  You don't play with dirty money and come out clean.  This is why there is no transparency with his tax returns.   Why does one need a fixer like Michael Cohen if you are running your businesses above board?

His business evolved to reality TV.  And our TV President held court in The Apprentice and that facade made him legitimate to some citizens.  He presided in the big chair on a television set that gave the appearance of a strong businessman who said, "You're Fired" but it was... scripted and directed.   In reality, he cannot handle conflict, and has other people fire whomever has crossed him or he sits behind his unsecured phone and fires by Twitter.  

What blew me away was, with his much touted negotiating skills, and with a Republican House and Senate, he couldn't get his version of healthcare passed because he had no version.  He doesn't read, he doesn't know policy or history,  just catch phrases.  It was truly shocking to me what a poor negotiator he actually is.  He's really good at executive orders in front of the camera though.  He can't roll up his sleeves and do the hard work even though he might have a good point.  (See, I give him that he might have some good instincts!)  He's unable to have the hard conversation with our ally leaders in person to reach a mutually beneficial agreement at a summit. That is what negotiating is about.  That is strength.  

It's sad to see it's about optics and show.   He only shows up for the picture op or a parade in his honor.

Whatever you have to say about Obama and your disagreement with his policies, he met with both parties, had meetings and had hard negotiations to pass healthcare.   He is a Christian, he said Merry Christmas and he was born in Hawaii.  Even though it would be okay if he were Muslim because being Muslim does not mean you are a terrorist.  He sat with parents who had lost grade school children to gun violence and wept with them.  Trump does not have that emotional capability.  He threw paper towel rolls in Puerto Rico from behind a table and it was so symbolic of who he is.  Of course, that U.S. territory is still suffering. 

All of the above mentioned sociopathic tendencies are crippling him and has an affect on our country. 

Most recently, the lack of empathy was on full display with his Zero Tolerance family separation border policy which Stephen Miller crafted and Attorney General Sessions stamped.  He started the fire and then put the fire out.   For a day or so, he did see an opportunity to use these terrorized detained immigrant children as hostages for leverage for his wall but then optics got too bad for him.   He has affected children and families who have been so psychologically scarred and whom may never be reunited with their parents.  As of this morning, he drops Immigration impulsively because the optics are bad at the present moment. 

Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

I can't even begin with Sessions using the Bible to justify ripping families apart, just like it  was used to support slavery.  At times I actually feel sorry for Sessions whose policies I deplore. He is Trump's whipping boy because he actually did the ethical action of stepping down from overseeing an investigation that included himself.  But Trump is now torturing him unmercifully because mafioso Don was expecting loyalty from "his" man.  (Trump was expecting a Roy Cohn)  Trump's authoritarian stances and dictator love is quite disconcerting.  It wasn't a joke that he wanted "his" people to stand at attention like Kim Jong Un's people as rocket man presides over a murderous military regime. 

He has extreme black and white thinking. (I spot it, I got it too!) You are either all in or on the complete outs with Trump.  For example, he is incapable of nuances.  He doesn't know how to meet Kim Jong Un and not flatter and fawn all over a murderous dictator.  He could meet with him, be courteous and yet hold a hard line.  I thought the two of them might just be so crazy that something good could come of it.  

Then there is the inconsistency of the "law and order" President.  He is waging Presidential war against his own Justice department to cover his own tracks.   Why would someone with so many questionable financial dealings with funding from dirty money run for the highest office in the land?  He brought this level of investigation on himself.  His narcissism tells him he can get away with it.  And Comey helped him win the Presidency!!  I am not missing that irony. 

A simple fact during the campaign was he told the American people he had no dealings with Russia and all along, his business associates were trying to build a Trump Tower there.  He learned to lie this masterfully from Joe McCarthy's lawyer, Roy Cohn when Trump was thirty years old.  He learned  how to double down and repeatedly lie until people think it's the truth.  

This is wearing me out, how about you? 

Who is the Biggest Fake?  

I know many do see the dysfunctional sociopathic characteristics but they see it as strength.  They have craved someone who calls it like they see it.  He's bold, he doesn't care about political correctness.  America First!!    Mixed in with America First are the evangelical leaders and Christians who align with the man who says he has makes no mistakes and never needs to be forgiven.  And well, the sociopathic tendencies...

Jesus would have been all in for America First, right?  Jesus, the olive skinned Jew, who was an immigrant with no home who preached "love thy neighbor as thyself."

Jesus would have been turned away at the border by our current administration.  He was a snowflake in the best way, who said love everyone.   My personal God is the God of all people in the world, not just the American ones.  Trump has co-opted patriotism for his own purposes.  I love America, I love our freedom but I also see that the rest of the world's children (and adults) as God's too.  This includes the brown ones, the Mexican ones, the Muslim ones, females, children, gay, straight, transgender, the tax collector, the Pharisee, the white ones and the male ones. 

My pastor says that we must love our enemies.  I think Jesus did too.  Trump may stoke the fire of divisiveness and indecency day in and day out but I really try not to respond in hate.  I can even tell you how he has helped me!  Trump has helped me accept that I am not in control.  Ha ha!!   And that is an understatement!!  He has taught me to be in the present moment, more than Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra or Jesus could! He has helped me to understand that politics are so very personal and they are so very deeply ingrained.  Do I hate Trump?  He makes me cringe for sure.  I can't listen to him speak and I loathe red hats. I really despise his actions and his rhetoric but I do try to understand him.  That is who I am.  I try to understand who he is and who his followers are.  I think he's pretty miserable that he won.  

For those who understand what I'm writing intimately, take heart.  I truly believe our democracy will survive this President.  Now, I don't think that every day, but on my best day, I do.  It will be ugly for a while still.  The Founding Fathers created our constitutional framework because we were fleeing a King with unlimited power and forced religion. They had this scenario in mind. 

Do you see what I see?

If you don't agree with any of these thoughts, thanks for reading all the way to the bottom!!  We may not see the same things, but I do try to see you, and understand as well.  We both want many of the same things in life, we just have different ways of getting there. 

Namaste. 

I Have Something in Common with Trump

I have something in common with DJT.  We both want to be zen. I heard a news report that he wanted to project zen after the two indictments and the guilty plea on Monday.  I was incredulous that this was the word used.  I have longed to be "zen" for a number of years and have wanted to write a blog for a few weeks now about the fact that I am not zen.  And bam, there it was, that word used in connection with Trump?!!

I am not zen by nature, and I really, really want to be calm, focused and not have my feathers ruffled. (i.e.. no anxiety!!)   But I'm just not.  Donald wants to project this as well, or at least he did three days ago.  Mr. twitter "every thought and feeling with no filter" wants to appear calm.  Maybe somewhere deep in his consciousness, he wants to rise above but it seems in this instance it is more about brand management. I'm not sure with his obvious Narcissistic Personality disorder(s) that he could rise above.  He would have to acknowledge and have awareness to begin.

It just hit me, what is zen?  What does it really mean, what is the definition?  My Google search definition said this:

1. zen: a Japanese school of Mahayana Buddhism emphasizing the value of meditation and intuition.

   
   

   Wait, I am all about intuition!!! (Intuition is listening to the most undervalued part of the Trinity: the Holy Spirit) 

   
   

   Another definition from Zen.buddhism.net: Zen meditation, is a way of vigilance and self-discovery which is practiced while sitting on a meditation cushion. It is the experience of living from moment to moment, in the here and now. 

   
   

   Are you kidding me??  

   
   

   Oh my gosh, I do practice zen!! The key word being practice.  Years ago, the first book that I read of this nature at church was Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth."  Tolle's premise is about living in the here and now. I had no idea what he was talking about when I started, but it was about being in the present moment: not dwelling in the past, nor the fear of the future.  In Psalms, it says "Be still and know that I am God."  What this means, is to stop fighting, surrender and be quiet in God's presence and to the Divine's ways.  Basically the all knowing, who is present everywhere, has got your back. (It may not look like what you want though) 

   
   

   The difficulty in that is learning to let go.  Ha ha!  That infamous letting go.  Why can't we let go?  When we sit still, what comes to us?   Big thoughts that don't stop, and scary feelings or energy as I have learned to call it. I have been diligently plunging into this notion in terms of addictions and compulsions.  This is why we are the most compulsed nation in the world.  The list is endless, we all know them:  Alcohol, drugs, food,  gambling, shopping, exercising, electronics, etc. etc.  Any behavior that helps us avoid our life right in front of us and numb out. Some of them are healthy actions but when it is taken to the extreme, that is avoidance and can interfere with relationships, and career, etc.

   
   

   And this work to be "in the moment" is the hardest of anything that I've embarked on.  For example, I am about to get on a plane by myself and fly to a large city and meet a few friends that I know intimately but yet, I've never met in person. (I've met a few of them)  I am claustrophobic as all get out.  Planes, elevators, and now root canal DO ME IN. The last time I flew in late July, I woke up to a panic attack about flying DAYS BEFORE we left.  My hands are shaking as I type because I have great fear of enclosed spaces.   And fear of going it alone.  But I'm doing it anyway.  

   
   

   Another example is when a study group of mine decided to meditate for 5 minutes after we listened to an audio.  I have not practiced meditation.  I have practiced mindfulness which is focusing on my thought patterns but not actually sitting still cross legged. My intuition told me to get up from where I was sitting because I was too close to the person whom I adore next to me.  I didn't listen it though and as soon as I closed my eyes, and we started, I felt panic.   I was claustrophobic and needed my own space. My anxiety rose but I stayed with it and the panic slowly dissipated.   And this is how I practice meditation.  Ha ha, it starts with anxiety about having anxiety. LOL!!  Good times!

   
   

   I am learning to be with these energy and I have learned that it is okay, to take medication to fly, but I want to embrace new practices to calm myself.   

   
   

   I have to trust the Divine One and let go.  I have to practice staying in my body. Breath is the key to staying with the body.  Breathing and using all of my lung capacity.  Focus my wayward thoughts on something else not scary.  I have downloaded...guided meditations to listen to.  The Hamilton soundtrack takes me away too! 

   
   

   Zen is the value of meditation and intuition.  

   
   

   Why I misunderstood what Zen was, is because I want SERENITY NOW especially right now!!!  But it's a practice and not a state of being.  I want it now, now, now.    

   
   

   It's not about being zen, it's about practicing zen.

   
   

   I have thought many times about the reason why DJT gets under my skin so very much and it's not just about his political ideology.  And I can learn from this.   I can clearly see what his personality is and what his motivation is and it is all about his ego.  He has very poor ego structure.  There is an AA saying, "If you spot it, you got it" and this applies here.   What I recognize in others so readily is actually one of my own issues.  It touches a nerve.  I don't believe Trump sits with his thoughts and feelings at all.  He acts on them when he shouldn't ALL THE TIME.  He says he can do everything and do it better than everybody. He is soothing his ego when he does this.  How I'm different in responding and soothing my ego, is that I have told myself I can't do anything.  We both have poor egos, we just project it differently. 

   
   

   Yet, I have been slowly and methodically proving myself wrong on this.

   
   

   I can do many things that I thought I couldn't or wouldn't ever try.

   
   

   Yet I have to sit and be still with the most uncomfortable energy to do so.  In this present moment of fear, I am having a hard time knowing what it will feel like after this wave passes, but there will be calm on the other side and the awareness of the Divine presence within.  This is what awareness and going within is all about.  When you catch that Divine flow, you want to stay forever but it just a glimpse that keeps you coming back and being still over and over.   

   
   

   Namaste

But Really Who Should Be Fired?

Trumps latest tirade while at an Alabama campaign rally*, is aimed at NFL athletes, the sons of bitches*, who take a knee and should be fired.

But really who should be fired?

I guess NFL players with their peaceful knee protests are not nice people, whereas neo-nazis and white supremacists marching under the cover of night, with KKK like torches, chanting "blood and soil", and "Jews will not replace us" and inciting incredible fear in Charlottesville are nice people.

One group wants to exterminate persons not like them and harken back to a time where millions were murdered, while the other is exercising a first amendment right to shine a light on injustice.  Wars were fought, soldiers have died for this right, and for our democratic values.  They are risking their livelihoods for the arc of justice.  Martin Luther King and many others died for equality and  did so by peaceful protesting.  Kaepernick lost his job, so if you side with Trump that can make you happy.

This is the main issue: what is more important, the flag/anthem, or the people and the constitution whom it represents?  The flesh and blood of humans who die because of the color of their skin or are incarcerated at an alarmingly disproportionate rate?  Protesting has been what has brought needed change and justice and there is more work to do.

"For the land of the free and the home of the brave."  Or does that mean, just those with white skin.

These are not black and white issues. One can be for police and for Black Lives Matter at the same time.  This is called both/and. It is an evolved way of thinking. You can Back the Blue and want to weed out those who don't follow the very laws they are enforcing.  There is systematic institutional racism that needs to be addressed and there are no easy answers.  Evidently peaceful protesting and 45's discomfort with free speech has gotten our attention.

But really who should be fired?

Forty-five's comments show what he is really worried about as he does in his tweets. His poor self-image and ego comes out against other people when it is really about himself and his weaknesses. The Russian chokehold is getting closer and closer to him and those around him.    Trump is going to be more aggressively acting out to divert attention.  If there is nothing to hide, then let the Russian investigation move forward without any more obstruction.  Mueller has been lauded on both sides of the aisle as the straightest of shooters with impeccable integrity and credentials.

You can't say that about Trump, but I digress.

So far the actions, allegedly, of 45 and/or his team are:  his campaign team did meet with a Kremlin linked Russian lawyer with the enticement of getting dirt on an opponent (collusion), 45 helped draft the statement to lie about said meeting(obstruction),  Manafort offered campaign information to a Russian oligarch in Putin's inner circle (collusion, treason?),  Trump fired the FBI director because he was investigating him (obstruction of justice),  Flynn was working for other countries best interest's and didn't report it (treason?), the multitude of lies and lack of transparency such as lying a about revealing the Trump/ Russia business overtures during the campaign and then there is the emoluments clause. That is so far on the back burner but one area that needs attention. These are the incredible damning issues that Trump has created, right off the top of my head.  And that is not touching business deals of Trump and Russian oligarchs, the Steele Dossier, how to handle nuclear threats, and just plain moral deficits. Thank goodness for the free press.

Who really should be fired? 

It is very telling that 45 can forcefully and passionately admonish NFL peaceful protestors, but has never had one, not one harsh word for a hostile foreign power who tried in various ways to undermine our democratic election. It is an act of war and he doesn't care.  He does nothing about it but deny it and degrade our Intelligence agencies, because his ego can't handle that the legitimacy of the election is in question and/or was he colluding?  The truth will come out eventually.

He's so worried about himself that our democracy is left hanging because he doesn't want to get to the bottom of it, to work to prevent it again or stop it as it is ongoing.

And he is our President.

Who really should be fired?

Not speaking out is not an option any more.

 *(and can we talk about the constant need for  campaign rallies in the first year of office to stroke his ego) (and that a President is using this language)

(And I didn't even address the issue of him wanting more violence in a game that is already deadly to it's players and their brains.)

With a very deep breath, I end with my customary 
Namaste.
(the divine in me bows to the divine in you)

The Lesson of a Donald Trump Presidency

I have started many post election missives.  And I write and I get worked up and angry and that is not the place I want to come from and I don't finish them.  I'm really going to try to finish in the spirit that it is intended today.  But that spirit is being lost as events and facts continue to unfold and it's even more disheartening.  What is going on is not about politics as usual whatsoever.

I see and hear the frustration on all sides.  The frustration that led unemployed workers in Erie, PA to vote for Trump out of desperation even though they wished he would stop talking a certain way.  Coal miners need jobs yet they are benefiting from ACA and don't think he will really dismantle it.  (How does one choose which thing to believe of what he says? )  I understand those who want change and there was too much progress to handle.  Two months ago, I was stunned but understood those reasons why he was elected.  But now, it's a different story.  There is Russian involvement and that unfolds each day, and Comey and FBI interference.

There is also no transparency of any sort with the businesses that PEOTUS and his family hold, just his word is given to us.  And Kellyanne Conway says not to listen to his words but know his heart.  The heart who degrades anybody who disagrees with him, openly mocked a disabled reporter and grabs pussy because he can.

In the words of the Kentwood native, Oops, I did it again,  I started going off.  Deep breath. Each time I write it boils down to this, the most important occurrence from Nov 8th was...

Decency died.

Do I have to list the reasons why?  If you are reading this, then not likely.

The list is long and there are new reasons each and every day.

Does he really care about Americans?  Or did he just want to WIN!  Did he want retaliation from Obama humiliating him at the 2011 White House Correspondence dinner?  The lesson that his father taught him was all about winning and not being a loser.

This notion of winning really goes deep with a painful tragedy within his family. His father, Fred, Sr. and Donald repeatedly told his brother, Fred Jr, who was eight years older than Donald, that he was a loser because he did not have that killer instinct for the family business.  Fred wanted to be a pilot, and he did become a pilot but was a real disappointment to those two men.  Fred Jr. drank himself to death by the age of 43.  I'm sure that instilled in Donald even further to be a winner, or what he designates as a winner.   He is still seeking approval from his deceased father and from all of us around him.  That is his low self worth on display.  (It takes one to know one, I spot it because I got it!)

This next fact, explained so much of Trump's behavior to me and in particular, behavior that is so intolerable to me.  Roy Cohn, the deceased mob and McCarthy era lawyer, taught him to lie and keep repeating lies until people think it's the truth.  Even today when there is audio or video footage to the contrary, this seems to make no difference at all.  Student Trump did finally learn a lesson and he learned it really well.  Truth and facts do not matter.  Double down.

He has not stepped up into being more Presidential as I meagerly hoped, that is not who he is.  He has tweeted in retaliation throughout the transition, the business elite have been appointed for cabinet positions some of whom don't even know the job they are being assigned or are terribly unqualified, and there is no untangling himself from his businesses.  The potential for conflict of interest is huge.  The first Trump White House Press Briefing by Sean Spicer included an infomercial for his DC hotel.  

He has historically low poll numbers of any President before he is sworn in at 40%.

I am not alone in thinking this man is not ready for the job.

But he was elected and with unprecedented foreign involvement.  Yet, there is a peaceful transition of power.  And then what will happen next?

I read an article in Psychology Today by Karl Albrecht, PhD that described who Trump will be as a President.  It fits with everything that I've read and watched of who he is.  There won't be meetings or information shared by those with knowledgable of the given area because he doesn't have the patience or attention span for that.  His style of leadership will be a fly by the seat of his pants and a competition of those around him who can get his attention the longest and compete for their interests.

A concern that stands out to me is that when a tragic event like the Sandy Hook massacre occurs, can you imagine PEOTUS comforting the families or the United States as a whole?  His thin skin and ego, is all about himself.  Does he know how to be empathetic?

Is he going to grow up?  Is he going to learn, that not everything is about himself?

Now that I've gotten a little bit out of my system, I will attempt to take a different turn.

I do think that with this election, there has been a positive.  He has galvanized those who disagree with him in solidarity!  The marches of women and others demonstrating are going to be amazing. His words, "Nasty Woman" were a rallying call. There is activism out the wazoo to let Senators and Representatives know what their constituents want.  There was a huge response to Republicans trying to gut an ethics panel at the beginning of the month.  I have taken to several different means to communicate with my representatives.  These people in government work for us and we are not going to let them forgot that.

I have to speak up and that is not comfortable for me at all.

But in the words of Pastor Martin Niemöller: I saw these words this summer in Boston at a Holocaust memorial.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.


My hope and prayer is that Trump can continue to be an agent of change, just not for what his intentions are, whatever they are.  I have to pray for this man and for those who surround him.  This is a tall order.   I can easily pray for life, liberty and the pursuit of justice for all people of the United States.  All people including those of different skin colors and races, different religions, women, those with disabilities and of different sexual orientations, all of us.  We are all brothers and sisters.  We are all in this together. A divine power created us all.  Now to actually send positive thoughts to someone whom I have seen no decency in? That is how I have to grow.

I pray that as he takes on the awesome responsibility of this job, it transforms him.  One can hope.

The only way that I know to move forward is to love.   I have to love and care for those around me, including myself.   Even though decency died, I have to love those whom I disagree with politically and move forward.  I have to dig really, really deep.  Because that lack of decency is born out of fear.  Fear of not having a job again, fear of the color of the United States changing, fear of a woman leader, and fear of change.  And the opposite of fear is love.  I have to dig really deep to live in peace that all will be well.  This is the ultimate teacher.  Love big even though it is not being demonstrated by the man in the Presidency.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Sending love out.  I will walk my dogs now.  I will work on my budget. I will clean and do laundry and tonight,  I will pick up my kids from school, I will go to my Spiritual Formation conference and listen to the topic of Holy Listening. That is the perfect antidote for today.

Namaste

The First Debate is Here...Working On My Messaging

Here we are...the first debate is tonight.  I have so many strong feelings.

My younger daughter told me this weekend, they talked about politics in math last week.  Okay.   I asked if she told them I was voting for Hilary, because I knew she would spill the beans but that is okay with me.  It has taken a long time to sit in my truth.   We have had discussions in the house... very spirited discussions on my part but I answer her questions as evenly as I can ( in my passionate way.)

She said I told them you hate Donald Trump.

Sigh.

Okay, I have to work on my messaging.

I said I don't hate Donald Trump.  I do not agree with ANYTHING he has to say and yet he is a child of God just like everyone else.  (I don't want to hate anyone.) And although I passionately disagree with EVERYTHING that comes out of his mouth, I don't hate him.

It should say "we're"

(Or do I?)

(Face cringed)

The fact that Donald Trump bothers me as much as he does, psychologically/behaviorally means I'm still moving away from my former views (and truthfully fear - he promotes fear (or himself) every time he speaks and it's still my soft spot.)   Look at the title of this website.   It takes time to shift from Fear to Love.  I initially moved into the red territory when I became of voting age because that is what was all around me.   But slowly over the years, I claimed who and what I believe as a woman, a Southerner, and a child of God, me.

I had to detangle religion and politics.   And I do, more so every day.  And I identify as a Democrat.

I read a lot but don't watch a lot of TV coverage because I do get worked up about it.  I have to let it go, so I can sleep at night and live peaceably and productively during the day.  But I am fascinated by politics.  I loved my Political Science classes at LSU.   I have more work to do, learning to agree to disagree and George can attest to that.  Spirited discussions...

Back to my chat with Mallory.  She listed off most everyone whom Trump has offended and his potential policies that are hurtful to large groups of people, religions etc. etc.  I was surprised that she named as many as she did.  Those are the facts, and the truth.  I do want to present both sides so that she can make up her own mind, but there has never been a candidate so untested, unprepared and unchecked by the media and without the temperance to be the leader of the free world.

I don't know if Mallory believes that I don't hate him, but it's a work in progress to live into my truth.  I will work on my messaging.  I will try to bring the passion down a notch or two.

I will work on being more even keeled because that is where I want to be.  More LOVE. Less fear.
Namaste.