Saturday, January 3, 2009

Letting go of the Big Girl Panties

You have heard the saying, put your big girl panties on and deal with it. What if you have been wearing the same big girl panties for over 6 years??? Does the age of the heretofore panty cause a problem in dealing with it?
I love my well aged hi cut big girl panties. I can't let them go. I know how long I've had them and if I explain why that will really gross you out. They seem to work no matter the size I get. They seem to also hold things in a little bit or it could just be my imagination. Especially since my weight has varied by 15 pounds. It just feels like they hold in a little and isn't perception everything? Victoria Secret no longer carries them and I even ordered some that appeared to be like them from the catalog a couple of years ago hoping they were the same and alas no. I've tried new ones and they hold me in too much and are just uncomfortable.
This reminds me of my family of origin. Here is the transition and I will do it better in the future when I have some more experience writing. Some members of my family and I had a big "falling out" at Christmas time a couple of years ago and then it repeated itself during the next holiday season. I had to have therapy to work on letting it go. I will admit I have had therapy, there is such stigma out there about it but the ones who seek it are actually the healthy ones or are trying to be. Which is the topic of another blog having to do with Carrie Fisher. Another time.
Anyway,we as a large family of origin with spouses, neices, nephews, and the occasional parent in law had gotten together as a family for every major and minor holiday, birthdays, parent's anniversary and the family grew larger and larger. It was just something I did and then as my own family grew, we did and thought I was supposed to do until it became unbearable. It was very hard to let this larger body of my original family go and I'm still working on it. We were just not on the same page and I'm not sure if we will ever be.
Letting go of the family of origin is a huge undertaking. There are nearly 20 years of adult age beliefs that are wrapped up in it. I can understand things in my mind but then the heart and the emotion are slow to follow. Grieving is a major part of it. Each Christmas and holiday gets easier until there are interactions that resurrect the hurt feelings and aggravation but then it gets easier to let it go. There is less loss of sleep and stomach turning. But just as the well aged big girl panties must go one day, all things in life change. Change is so hard to accept, but the older that I'm getting I realize, accepting change is the best coping mechanism and also one of the tools for the toolbox of life. The new big girl panties may not feel the same but you have to let go of the old ones sometimes and maybe you might find a new pair that even feels better.

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