The second day of 2009. It sounds monumental but it's actually the next day after the first day of the new year, which followed the day before that and so on. In that pattern, what has to change other than the calendar is my attitude, my outlook, my verve. I had to look up verve which Merriam-Webster defines as liveliness of imagination. I like that. My imagination needs to be "livened." I have never been a think outside of the box person but in the last couple of years, I'm coming around to it and learning how. It's a skill that has to be acquired. It is a handy tool to have in the toolbox of life.
I'm presently sad that my clothes don't fit, and I'm trying to think out of the box on this one and how to embrace it. I'm embracing the parts of me that I don't like right now. I am working on my clothes fitting better as I'm seeing a nutritionist and she is helping me come to a healthy relationship with food. It's a difficult journey and I sense it will take time and then that weight is just going to fall off...ha ha, not really but in time slowly . I'm going to move more and figure out how to stop eating when I'm full. It's a complicated process for me as it is for a lot of people.
My nutritionist says diets don't work. I knew that after the last two diets I did back to back in 2 years with short term results. I knew something was wrong with the process but what? It was unbearable to deprive myself. So this is my new path out of the box and I know I'm on the right one and it's just going to take time. And I have become accustomed to our culture of immediate gratification. A diet is immediate gratification in the mind but for me in time the weight comes back, so no diet.
Now to think out of the box and embrace my curves, ignore our media obsessed culture of teeny tiny bodies, etc. I am who I am. I could get all Stewart Smalley and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." Which is actually what I've learned that I need to do. Really. I just have to love myself for who I am. I have curves, I will never be a size 2. There are some boutiques, I will never shop in and that is okay. My body does a lot of nice things for me. It gets me through the day and is relatively healthy right now. That's a huge positive. That is something to be grateful for. It even got me through a mini-triathlon in May(I managed to get that in, didn't I!!!) I like to look nice but I don't really want all of the focus of my life to be about superficiality. Right now, my main job is my children and they don't care what I look like. They just want me to love them and spend time with them. I'm learning that what is important is on the inside. Really. So outside of the box I go and I've got other things to do like to figure out how I'm going to move today and what to fix for supper.
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