Saturday, April 17, 2010

"Women, Food and God"

I have found a new book by Geneen Roth entitled, "Women, Food and God" Well, isn't that just THE trifecta for me. This is an author that was recommended by my therapist and I realized after buying a different book by her that I already had a copy of it. The self-help bookaholic that I am, evidently bought it years back and never read it. I wasn't ready to take on the issues. A few weeks back, I was listening to the "Soul Series" on XM and the conversation sounded a lot like what my therapist has been telling me about food. (It's not about a diet, it's about the emotions, eat what you crave, learn to stop when you are full, yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, sounds soooo easy) Well, lo and behold, it was Ms. Roth on the radio and this new book was mentioned. (And now it is on the cover of "O" magazine with a byline that says Oprah has finally solved her food issues. I have wondered why Oprah had not become aware of Ms. Roth's work sooner with all of her resources.)

In my journeys as of late, I have been getting similar messages from different sources, using different words but it all points to the same thing. Stop and be still with yourself, allow God in the small cracks that are there. And get at what is underneath your emotions. What I have been reading with Geneen and I'm now 7 chapters in, is that the obsessions that we have (food in my case) are our way out of the present moment, because we unconsciously believe the pain is too much for us to bear. In case this sounds like a load of crap to you, I do understand your disbelief. I have been underlining passages in this book on each page like crazy because it makes so much sense to me now. I think if I had not been in the therapy process for the last year and a half, (yes I must be a slow learner), I would not "get it" now.

I recently spent several months grieving "what is not." Situations in my life and from my past that completely shaped who I was, that weren't working for me anymore, I grieved and am accepting. It does feel like a weight has been lifted. I have been seriously changing my worldview bit by bit with small aha moments of clarity. One of the consequences of this new world view and going through that grieving process is and I quote from Ms. Roth, "a lightness of being that enthralled me." She also uses the words, "unruffled peace, everyday holiness, and ease of being in body, mind and heart." I have felt lighter, even though my weight hasn't dropped. I didn't know I had such heaviness that was weighing me down so much.

As I was reading, I was amazed by the fact, that Ms. Roth teaches meditations in her retreats that focus on breath. Okay, that's not the amazing part, it is that she focuses on the belly. Okay, that's not it either, it's this, she goes on to say, bellies are the center of our body and the center of our grounding. I quote from her, "When you ignore your belly, you become homeless." Hmmmm. (Yoga also teaches the same thing in terms of chakra's I believe) And this is the thing, I know I have written a blog or two about this topic, of listening to my gut. I have been onto something.

There is some irony here because the last few weeks for some reason, my youngest daughter has been repeatedly telling me that she loves my stomach. To me this is strange, but she's four, so I'm rolling with it. What do you say back to that? I love her stomach too? My stomach is my least liked part on my body, that is where the extra weight has collected the most. As she keeps repeating this to me, I have begun telling her that I love my stomach too. I will love my stomach and not ignore it. Mallory has been bringing my attention to my belly for me!! There is an OLD SOUL in that beautiful child. Her lovely sweet innocent spirit is bringing me a really important lesson.

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