My Colonoscopy and Suzanne Sugarbaker's Testiness

I loved Designing Women, and watching it now with some more years and aha moments behind me, I love Julia Sugarbaker even more.

I had a colonoscopy last week due to a bout with diverticulitis a year ago. After the malignant melanoma in situ experience of December, there was nothing like the word cancer to push me into scheduling every exam that has been on my medical to do list. I have an eye exam and a repeat Pap Smear left to go.

The prep was the worst part as I had been told and seen with George's three previous colonoscopies, although he is quite stoic. I could "eat" nothing but clear liquids and clear foods starting the morning prior to the procedure the next day. This is what I had to "eat": green and blue Jello, chicken broth, Jolly Ranchers, and Gatorade. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! You can have popsicles but since it was actually cold here in South LA I skipped those. I don't want to touch any of the remaining supplies now and notice how I sad supplies, not food. I evidently should have ingested more sugar because I had headaches, and it was especially bad the morning of the procedure while chugging down the 2nd half of the prep - another 48 ounces of liquid, the first 16 oz being the very distasteful Suprep.

All of that bellyaching aside, I AM thankful for lifesaving procedures such as colonoscopies and shave biopsies and the plentiful food that I have to eat everyday. I had to laugh about it because it got worse before the prep started. Two days before I start starving myself, my period kicked in. Really!! Are you kidding me? I get to bleed on one end while having a camara enter the other. Priceless!

I felt just like Suzanne in this video!! Back to the hunger, I just wanted a cracker really, really badly. I am going to eat one right now because I can. I threw it away because it was not fresh. I had to not think about it. I had to deprive myself and this brought up many thoughts of my former diet mentality, the one that I have worked hard to let go. Many feelings bubbled to the surface and I am still pondering them. Luckily it was just a day of deprivation, but I was almost ready to take somebody out.