Welcome Home True Self by Joyce Rupp

In preparing for the Joyce Rupp book study I facilitated in the fall I found this beauty that she wrote.  I have found that this type of spiritual poetry is a balm to my soul.  This one is so very truthful of my journey inward.  Hope that it resonates with you as well.

Preface
the persistent voice of midlife
wooed and wailed, wept and whined,
nagged like an endless toothache,
seduced like an insistent lover, 
promised a guide to protect me
as I turned intently toward my soul.
as I stood at the door of "Go Deeper"
I heard the ego's howl of resistance,
felt the shivers of my false security
but knew there could be no other way.
inward I traveled, down, down,
drawn further into the truth
than I ever intended to go.
as I moved far and deep and long
eerie things long lain hidden 
jeered at me with shadowy voices,
while love I'd never envisioned
wrapped compassionate ribbons
'round my fearful, anxious heart.
further in I sank, to the depths,
past all my arrogance and confusion,
through all my questions and doubts, 
beyond all I held to be fact.
finally I stood before a new door:
the Hall of Oneness and Freedom.
uncertain and wary, I slowly opened,
discovering a space of welcoming light.
I entered the sacred inner room
where everything sings of Mystery.
no longer could I deny or resist
the decay of clenching control 
and the silent gasps of surrender.
there in that sacred place of my Self
Love of a lasting kind came forth, 
embracing me like a long beloved one
come home for the first time.
much that I thought to be "me"
crept to the corners and died.
in its place a Being named Peace
slipped beside and softly spoke my name:
"Welcome home, True Self,
I've been waiting for you."
---Joyce Rupp

Can I Leave the White Lights Up All Year?

My first post of 2014!! I didn't make my quota of meeting the same number of posts as the previous year.  Oh well.

Today is the second day of the new year.  Last night, I was thinking that it was time to work to take the Christmas decorations down.  And I'm not looking forward to that task.  I cleaned up for nearly two hours yesterday morning and that didn't even begin to touch the Christmas decorations.  The house is just ransacked.  But that is what it looks like when we are home for two weeks straight.

The last couple of years I haven't helped to put the ornaments on the tree.  The kids did it with George.  I did help pick out the three, get it straight but I was working on other things around the house.  And that makes me a little sad.  But I will purposely help take them down, because I enjoy all of the ornaments.  Most of them are from places we visited as well as ones made by the kids.  Each one is a special gift and memory.

This morning when I awoke, and began to mentally prepare to clean up more,  I walked into the kitchen and was pleasantly surprised by the white lights still twinkling outside the window.  For each day the decorations are still up, I get to enjoy the white lights.

I love these lights.  

I love the light in the darkness, especially if I end up walking the dogs at night.  Wow, could that be any more symbolic?  The light in the darkness.  I won't push George to get those off the gutters and maybe even try to slow him down on that one.

 I do want to get the dead tree out of the house, but I don't mind living with the twinklies for a little longer.

Well dear readers, I appreciate each and every one of you and wish for you the blessings of a new year!

My two cents on Phil Robertson

I'm tired of hearing about Duck Dynasty yet I have to put my two cents in.  I was obsessed for a few days and in shock and dismay at seeing my FB wall blow up in support of Phil Robertson.   I have let everything I have read seep in and lo and behold I have the same exact position that I have come to after years of thoughtful deliberation and soul searching on the topic.  After having posted a few weeks ago of "coming out of the closet" as a supporter of LGBT on this blog...bam, my home state makes national news about Christianity and anti-gay and our Governor throwing in his two cents about First Amendment rights.

Sigh.

Mr. Robertson did not go to jail for his opinions, he was indefinitely suspended from employment by his employer with whom I'm sure there was a contract that had a clause just for this.  It is not a First Amendment issue and Governor Jindal needs to brush up on that one.  I know Jindal is supporting his taxable income from the northern parish.

I don't watch Duck Dynasty so I am coming to know Mr. Robertson by what I read in the full GQ article, and from many testamonials and then I happened upon this video I found from 2010 of Mr. Robertson preaching in Pottstown, PA at a church.

All You Need Is Love...

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.” John Lennon

I came across this quote yesterday.  I lived the first forty years motivated by fear and slowly I have been learning to operate out of love, bit by bit.  It's very slow intensive work to change the way my brain has been wired, the stories I tell myself about myself and my life but I am chipping away at it every day.  You also have to examine who is around you and what they are motivated by and is that helping you in your journey.

Thank you George Takai and I've Never Ever Watched Star Trek.

George Takai shared this picture on Facebook today.

Isn't it great!

As I've been on this journey to "transform my experience of the world" - (thank you Oprah), and have slowly and intentionally worked to heal my woundedness, I see how much fear I lived in.  As it has decreased, I have had small ahas, "I use to be scared to do this, not so much anymore"  Hmm, that's change.  Each little small increment, keeps me moving forward...and rising.

There are always more issues to face.  I have volunteered to run a Girl Scout Troop for Riley's age.  I have never decided to be in charge of anything...  but I am stepping out of my comfort zone because I can tell how much she would like to do this and it's a good program.  And it would be facing my fears.
So onward and upward.